*Note: I’m putting this up way early, so we can talk about the “Who Will Pitch?” debate outlined below while we watch The Gumbo Bengals vs. South Cackalacky Game Penises Semifinal Game (12pm CT on SEC Network). Both clubs have former Diamond Dores on them, so why not?

It’s SECT Semifinals time, so let’s play “Who Will Pitch?”

First, Who Won’t...

1) The Starters: Bryce Cunningham, Devin Futrell, and JD Thompson.

Duh. They have already started this week, all on short rest. Pitching them even an inning today or tomorrow would be coaching malpractice, as they are our only remaining healthy starting pitchers for the entirety of the postseason.

2) The Injured Ones: Carter Holton, Andrew Dutkanych, Sawyer Hawks, and a big ol’ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ w/r/t Ethan McElvain

If not for injuries, the Diamond Dores would be able to choose from Carter Holton, Andrew Dutkanych, and Ethan McElvain. I know everyone has injuries at this part of the season, but that’s an entire SEC caliber starting rotation that we’re missing. The Duke is done for the year (and probably next year, as well) after shaking hands with Tommy John early in the season. McElvain old-man tweaked his back on 4/14 against aTm and we have not seen him since. I’m hearing there’s a chance he might be available, as he is dressed and on the roster in Hooverville. For some reason, Holton is dressed and available, too, and I do not understand that at all, as he either had an injured shoulder or tired arm that was so obvious in warm-ups last Friday against The Wedding Jerseys that I’m still not over Brownie keeping him out there. That’s never a thing that’s just, “Ah, take a few days off and you’ll be fine.” He should be encased in bubble wrap until Regionals, at the very least.

Sawyer Hawks is also hurt, but he was never effective for us, and I forgive you for forgetting he ever transferred here from Air Force.

3) Relievers Who Pitched Yesterday: No one, as we beat Clanga and got the day off. Still, I’ll put Ryan Ginther here, as he went 2 & ¹⁄₃ IP Thursday.

Now, Who’s Available...

1) Those With Even 1 Start This Year: Greysen Carter, Brennan Seiber, and a big ol’ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ w/r/t Ethan McElvain

Carter (4-2; 6.48 ERA) pitched ²⁄₃ of an inning on Thursday, so he’s likely only available in relief. He has also been quite bad the 2nd half of this season. Seiber (3-0; 4.62 ERA) had 3 IP in relief of Cunningham on Tuesday, so he’s available on 4 days rest in theory. It would be better if we could hold him for Sunday and get him one extra day of rest, but we can’t, so if it’s The Seiber Punk, he’s likely only available for 4 IP. As for Return of the Mac (1-2; 3.38 ERA), well, no one knows, as they’re tight-lipped on injuries and whatnot on the West End. If he is the guy, I would also expect no more than 3-4 IP, as he hasn’t pitched in a while.

2) Those I Think Are Capable of Starting: David Horn, Levi Huesman, Sam Hliboki, and Miller Green.

Let’s go back-to-front and start with Green (2-4; 2.61 ERA): The Miller Green Preservation Society was left in for the final 4 innings of the 13-4 rout of The Chuggers on Wednesday, so that burns him until Sunday. You’re not starting a guy on 3 days rest, unless you’re a psychopath. Cross him off but for an inning of emergency relief.

With Sam “The Perfect Stranger” Hliboki (1-0; 10.12 ERA), well, this 5th year senior has done everything at Vanderbilt but hit a half court shot and purloin some Jorts fan popcorn. He has started, relieved, looked like a stud as a freshman, and looked completely toast with a 10+ ERA as a 5th year Senior. His last work was 1 & 2/3 IP against Kentucky and it really could not have gone worse (7 ER on 3 hits is pretty tough to do, actually). Yeah, he’s not my ideal choice, arm-wise, but mentality-and-experience-wise, you really can’t get better than Hliboki Bartokomous. I want to cross him off, but he is an available arm who has pitched in the SECT before with success.

Horn (0-0; 10.57 ERA) and Huesman (1-0; 6.00 ERA) both have starting pitcher-level arsenals, but neither has gotten much more than mop-up duty in 2024. Neither has been used in the SECT thus far. The Horn has given up O’Plenty runs this year in his 7 & ²⁄₃ IP in 9 relief appearances, and I have to attribute most of that to coming back from an injury. With Levi “Pants” Huesman, however, I’ve seen something this year. The results obviously aren’t there yet, but he’s got the “I know it when I see it” talent-level thing. I can’t explain it, I just think he’s going to be good. JD Thompson-level good. Can that happen today, or will he need another offseason in the pitching lab to learn to harness his pitches and stop walking everyone? I don’t know, but I bet he could catch lightning in a bottle for 4 or 5 innings today. My reasoning? Hunches! And a gut feeling! I know, I wish I could give you more, but every time he pitches, I just see something there. If you want me to give you some actual reasons, I could try to lie with statistics and point out that 6 of his 10 appearances this year were scoreless, but I’m not going to do that, as he also had a 54.00 ERA against UT-Martin. Some times, you’ve got to go with your gut.

3) Those I Think Can Throw 3+ IP: Luke Guth & Alex Kranzler

Guth (1-1; 4.41 ERA) pitched a scoreless inning in the 13-4 blowout over The Chuggers Wednesday, and I was baffled when he wasn’t kept it longer. He’s got potential.

The Kranz (0-1; 4.11 ERA) is fresh, as he last pitched 5/16 against Kentucky. He was trusted a lot more early in the season, and has largely been shelved in conference play. Still, he’s a fresh arm who has had some success... and is on the roster.

4) The “I Don’t Even Know if They’re on the SECT Roster, but Corbs Said he Brought 14” Jason Cunningham Memorial Group Who Has Not Pitched an Inning This Year: Ethan Robinson, Duke Ekstrom, Nik Copenhaver, Jakob Schulz, Deegan Cordova, Nate Teague, and Colton Regen

All but Regen are freshmen, and I don’t know the redshirt rules by heart, but Corbs says he brought 14 pitchers to the SECT, and I only profiled 13 active pitchers before this point. If I had to guess, our Jason Cunningham is Colton Regen. Regen did not pitch as a freshman, got lit up in 3 & ²⁄₃ IP in 4 appearances as a sophomore (0-0; 14.73), and has not gotten so much as one pitch this year. Yeah, that’s got to be our Jason Cunningham, right? His quote from Corbs on his vucommodores bio page is:

“Colton has matured nicely in our program. He has progressed academically, and that maturation has started to show up in his preparation on the field. Colton’s athleticism jumps off the charts. Twitchy, fast, strong armed and a quick mover. His arm and physical stuff are as good as anyone that we have. He has shown progress this fall in harnessing those abilities. Everyone would love to see him help our team, as he is a very caring teammate.“

That’s where we’re all at by this point in the SECT—Jason Cunningham “caring teammate” territory!

Let’s check in with Aria to see if she knows anything:

She does not. Nor do I (though I’d be shocked if it wasn’t a “break glass in case of emergency,” and also if they break said glass).

Do we know who’s going to be on the mound? Not a chance, but neither do The Chuggers. According to Coach Takes-His-Pants-Off-During-Games:

The pitcher he references has 10 relief appearances for a total of 10 & ¹⁄₃ IP on the year. That’s a recipe for a Johnny Wholestaff game for Tony “The Calf” and The Chuggers, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

No one knows anything during the Johnny Wholestaff/Jason Cunningham part of the SEC Tournament.

...but I do know one thing: nothing sucks like a big orange.

On the Mound [*Updated Again]

Saturday @ 3:30pm (or thereabouts) CT on SEC Network

Vanderbilt #89 Fr. LHP Ethan “Return of the Mac” McElvain (1-2; 3.38 ERA; 10.5 K/9)

vs. Chuggers #48 Sr. LHP Zander “Sechrist Out” Sechrist (2-1; 4.01 ERA; 9.49 K/9)

Return of the Mac returns! Fuck yeah!

We faced Sechrist Out on 5/12. Scored 3 on him in 2 IP and hung on for a 3-0 win. I’ll take that today, as well, please and thank you.

The Lineup

See you in the comments.