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Let’s Get Weird—All World All Time Best Song Competition: The Play-In Round

You weirdos voted wrong, and we’re going to make up for it (well, with three songs, really).

Der Kleine Mit Dem Großen Tick Photo by FilmPublicityArchive/United Archives via Getty Images

Feel free to click on the first Global Song Competition post in which we determined “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” was Australia’s best ever contribution to music to learn the rules of this game. In short, we didn’t want to talk about the aftermath of the last regular season baseball series, so I started a distraction contest to...

...determine the greatest song of all time, based on my limited knowledge of music and other countries.

First, we’ll go with the smattering of countries I can accurately point to on a globe and spell correctly—sorry, Kyrgustan (nope: it was Kyrgyzstan)—and then, we’ll go state by state in the good ol’ US of A.

*Note: Feel free to disagree with my choices violently, and suggest better songs in the comments. I will not listen to you, nor will it affect the outcome of this ridiculous distraction contest, but I want you all to feel both seen and heard, even though I don’t know what most of you look like, nor sound like, but I want you all to feel effectively placated.

Well, we finally got through the alphabet of World Songs, and we’ve got 3 spots left to get to the full 32 on the International side of the bracket. As such, this post is all about telling you how you’re wrong and you should feel bad. Democracy is great, as long as the populi are worth vox-ing.

You have proven to be terrible voters. Here’s our chance to berate you whilst getting more great songs into the bracket.

In short, Parlagi and I have identified the six best songs you crumb bums didn’t vote for and are giving them new life right now. I will give you three pairs of three to vote on and the winning three will stay in the tourney. Are they doomed because they weren’t picked earlier? Only if you believe Sister Jean of Loyola Chicago has no supernatural tournament powers.

Sister Jean Visits “Fox & Friends”
Look at this freaking wizard.
Photo by Roy Rochlin/Getty Images

Regardless, this should be easy for you. Listen to both songs and vote for the best one per each pair. I’m also not going to bore you to death with reasons to vote for any of them. instead, I trust you to listen to the songs prior to voting.

*Note: Once we figure these bad boys out, we will have to determine which 32 of the 50 US States are worthy of our musical exploration. East Dakota, you’re fucked.

Anyway, vote in the head-to-head battle royale that is the play-in game of this ridiculous distraction contest:

The Songs

#1) Ivan Mladek - “Jozin z Bazin”


#6) North Korean Propaganda - “Excellent Horse-Like Lady”


Pick one:

This poll is closed

  • 78%
    "Jozin z Bazin"
    (11 votes)
  • 21%
    "Excellent Horse-Like Lady"
    (3 votes)
14 votes total Vote Now

#2) Adriano Celentano - “L’Unica Chance”


#5) Hieronymus Bosch - “Butt Music”


Which one?

This poll is closed

  • 47%
    "L’Unica Chance"
    (9 votes)
  • 52%
    "Butt Music"
    (10 votes)
19 votes total Vote Now

#3) The Stampeders - “Sweet City Woman”


#4) Djiboutian Insanity- “Cabdoo 2.”


Who that is?

This poll is closed

  • 42%
    "Sweet City Woman"
    (8 votes)
  • 57%
    "Cabdoo 2"
    (11 votes)
19 votes total Vote Now