Saturday Predictions: Missouri at Vanderbilt

Well, Vanderbilt failed in its first SEC game, with AJ Swann throwing three interceptions in a 45-28 loss to Kentucky. This week, Vanderbilt is once again at home, and while they’re ranked in the top 25 and a two-touchdown favorite, their fans are... let’s say not confident about Saturday’s game.

Yeah, they clearly have PTSD from that time they came to Nashville in 2019 and got Mo Hasan’d into the start of a five-game losing streak. Anyway, are our writers in agreement with Missouri bloggers that Missouri should be scared?

Tom Stephenson

With the news that backup Ken Seals is (probably) going to fill in for AJ Swann... well, let’s just say that the range of outcomes for this game got considerably narrower. Seals is a known quantity and while he’s unlikely to, say, throw three interceptions and give the game away, he’s also not likely to have the kind of massive game that Vanderbilt needs to pull an upset.

I see neither a massive, embarrassing loss, nor an actual win. Maybe Vanderbilt can cover the spread, which has alternated between 12 and 13 points, but I wouldn’t bet on it considering that Vanderbilt has yet to cover the spread in five tries this season. Hell, I could be wrong about all of this. I have been wrong before.

The Pick: Missouri 38, Vanderbilt 24

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: Do you really trust Texas A&M to beat Arkansas? I certainly don’t.

Andrew VU ‘04

I completely get why Missourah (spits) would see this as a trap game. Though they’re 4-0, they beat Empty-S-U by only four points (and it’s not like it was a road game in Murfreesboro), and Memphis by 7 (also at home). Their signature win thus far was a good one, but a 3 point victory over Big XII conference foe Kansas State (at home, as well) is not exactly a field-storming event.

This is their first road game of the year. The team may well get distracted by construction noise. Perhaps they’ll fill up on hot chicken and collectively shit themselves. Even then, it will be a literal pants-shitting and not a figurative one.

The sad case is that the 2023 Vanderbilt Feetball Dores are a bad team. Our line play is terrible and causing Swann to hear footsteps in his dreams. Our DBs coach is an anti-semite who seems mostly to prep them for how to both give opposing WRs 10 yards of cushion AND let them run over the top of your coverage all day. Our turnovers are all returned for touchdowns.

Missourah (spits) will not blow us out of the water, but our hets are definitely wet.

The Pick: Missourah (spits) 34 - Vanderbilt 24.

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: It’s a wedding from hell, as the Jorts (+2.5) take down the Mashburn Wedding Jerseys in Lexington.

Patrick Sawyer

A presumed Seals start is intriguing. He has thrown for 300+ yards 4 times, with 3 of them coming against SEC foes in 2020. The big game is a possibility, especially with a much-improved WR corps from then. However, his career 19:18 TD:INT ratio is not saying a multi-turnover game is unlikely. Seals had 2 games each in 2020 and 2021 with 2 INTs and a 2020 outing with a trio of picks.

Really, I'm not impressed with Missouri. At all. Vanderbilt has been better all-around than the results show with the turnover plague ruining them. Last week, all the turnovers were interceptions. Maybe an older, wiser Seals avoids throwing to the wrong team. Still, I just cannot be confident Vanderbilt avoids beating themselves.

The Pick: Vanderbilt 17, Missouri 31

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: Jimbo is losing to Arkansas. I'm going to pick against him any time A&M is favored because you know the collapse is coming.