Well, at least last week was a win. Our writers, of course, were horribly wrong; as it turns out, my projection of a 45-21 Vanderbilt win was actually the closest to the 35-28 final score, with the other three picking scores of 70-9, 48-13, and 59-13.
I still, of course, went well over a dollar. (R.I.P. Bob Barker.)
Anyway! This week, Alabama A&M comes to Vanderbilt. Alabama A&M is an FCS team that went 4-7 last season. This should be an easy win! Maybe it will be! What do our writers think?
So, look, Vanderbilt didn’t look great last week — moreso on defense and particularly in the passing game (where the cornerbacks just couldn’t stop getting beat) than on offense, which was fine. This week’s game shouldn’t be competitive. The last time Vanderbilt played Alabama A&M, the score was 42-0 and Alabama A&M just didn’t do much at all.
If this game is still in doubt at the end of the first quarter, it’s time to sound some real alarm bells. I do not think this will happen.
The Pick: Vanderbilt 52, Alabama A&M 3
The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: South Alabama (+6.5) over TULANE. You never said I had to pick a current SEC school.
Andrew VU ‘04
Patrick pointed to my optimism last week, but that’s not the way I saw it. Prior to the game, I saw Hawaii as a litmus test for NoHo Clark’s New Bald Coach tenure. If they could house the Rainbow Warriors 63-10 in Hawaii, they should be able to top such a slobber-knocker with what’s supposed to be a better team against a team flying halfway across the world, and grieving a wildfire, right? Right?!?!
Well, no. Though we won, he failed my test. Now the ghost of Nifae Lealao wants Bama... A&M, and, well, it has me thinking of the game that haunts the Clark Lea era more than any other: the Year Zero 2021 unfathomable season opening 23-3 loss to ETSU.
Lose this one, and it’s time to declare, “Shitter’s full!” and enact a series of tragicomic horrors upon our dear Clark before Christmas.
Don’t make us break out the torchforks, Clark.
The Pick: Vanderbilt 38 - Ramajama Gump aTm 13.
The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: Tom writes the “Bad Gambling Advice” column for a reason. Even sans Tyjae Spears, the Green Wave’s not losing to South Ramajama, especially considering the Mobile school’s decision to put “Home of Mardi Gras” on their uniforms to troll the Nola faithful. Further than that, other than the possibility that Florida State takes down the Gumbo Bengals, no favored SEC team is really at risk of going down. So yeah, my vote is no upsets, technically, but The South Cackalacky Game Penises will certainly be upset after week one, as Drake Maye and the UNC Tarheels will rally after their school shooting and beat the tar out of the Penises. That, or Maye will be another one of those hyped up nothings like Will Levis. It’s week one, man, I don’t know anything.
Ah hell, rules are rules: UMASS (+35) gone roll the War Tigers, PAAAAAWWWWWLLLLLLL!!!
Last season, the Dores throttled Hawaii then barely stumbled to a win over Elon. Maybe they will do the opposite after sneaking by the Rainbow Warriors. If they do, nerves should settle, especially if Hawaii goes toe-to-toe with their soon-to-be ACC opponent tonight.
Even Alabama A&M's coach just wants to keep it close early then get out without injury. Seriously. He said that out loud on TV.
A certain corner still probably busts cover at least once for a big play against.
The Pick: Vanderbily 48, Alabama A&M 10
The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: South Carolina over UNC. Beamer Ball plus Rattler equals danger. Ask Tennessee. Rattler is still inconsistent, but a rivalry game to start his final season seems like an "up" time for him.