The unthinkable happened last season. #FadeImport turned into Import being 1 game shy of .500 at 78-79 for the season. He was bested by a Commentariat aggregate poll run each week by parlagi. Editor Emeritus (and Vox martyr) Christian D’Andrea was next in line at 74-84 followed by Tom, VU ‘04, and me at 72-86. Cole is lucky to still have a spot writing for us at 65-93.

We decided to sacrifice Import to Phony Stark and other Silly Con Valley overlords, so he is not back this season. The other 5 contestants are all back for another round of “Why does anyone trust what we think?”

The Rules

1. Normally, the picks are for all SEC games with one dealer’s choice where I get to choose another game to make us pick. With two new teams set to join in 2025, Texas and Oklahoma will have all of their games picked, too. For Week 0, all 7 of the games between FBS teams are being picked.
2. The picks will be made AGAINST THE SPREAD. Too many games are easy to pick heads up. Also, this will serve as a PSA for why you should not get into sports gambling, which is especially important with sports gambling being legal in Tennessee now.
3. The lines will be taken from Oddshark’s consensus spread some time Monday, so they may not match what is listed at the time this article is published.

If you have any questions, drop them in the comments. I am not sure if parlagi is running the Commentariat poll again.

The Picks

GAME	DotP	Cole	Tom	VU04	CDA
Hawaii (+15.5) @ Vanderbilt
Navy (+20) @ Notre Dame
UTEP (-1) @ Jacksonville State
UMass (+7.5) @ New Mexico State
Ohio (+3) @ San Diego State
San Jose State (+30) @ USC
FIU (+11) @ LA Tech

I am going to be totally honest. I guessed for Week 0. Outside of USC, I could not name one starter off any time except Vanderbilt. Hawaii? We stomped a mudhole in them and walked it dry in true “Stone Cold” Steve Austin fashion to the extent that I only remember Mike Wright’s 87-yard TD run, flirting with a way-too-successful Vanderbilt alum, and chatting with a few players’ parents at the tailgate. Of those three, the only “success” might be a parent or two remembering me fondly because Wright is at MSU and that flirtation went exactly nowhere.

Vanderbilt and LA Tech are the consensus picks. UMass and San Diego State got picked 4 to 1. The other three matchups are as close to even as we can get with an odd number. See rule 2 if you think any of that means diddly squat.