Click this explainer by Aria if you want to know all the different combinations and/or permutations involving this series and the postseason.

Week Fourteen (5/18-5/20) vs. The Arky Woo Pig Sooies

Thursday @ 6:00pm CT on SEC Network

Friday @ 7:00pm CT on SEC Network

Saturday @ 2:00pm CT on SECN+

‘23 Record: 38-13 (19-8 SEC).

Arky always seems to be up by the top of the SEC standings, and 2023 is no different. However, whereas we are falling apart (lost 5 of our last 6 to Ramajama and The Jorts, respectively), they are closing strong (winning 5 of their last 6 over Clanga and The South Cackalacky Game Penises). Again, this is a horrible time to be down our top two pitchers in Holton and Owen. Can we win this series? Of course. Will we? Well, at least Patrick Reilly knows more than an hour beforehand that he’s starting Game One...

Oh, and it’s Worth Scott Day, so anything can happen:

Back to Arky. They’re good. You know this. They’re a game up on The Gainesville Jorts for the top ranking in the SEC (and a game and a half up on The Gumbo Bengals for the top spot in the West). However, when Arky’s been good in the past, it has largely been behind a top pitching staff and a shutdown closer. These Raccoon Grabbers win with pitching and defense, but a little differently than they have in the past. Sure, they have a no doubt Ace in Hagen “The Dazs” Smith, but their top closer has fewer than 1/3 of their total saves. In short, there’s no Kevin Kopps on this roster. Don’t get me wrong... Arky can pitch, but it’s more of an overall staff depth cromulence thing than having stars.

In conference, they have swept The War Tigers, Buttchuggers, The Milkman Cult of aTm, and Clanga; took 2 of 3 from Ramajama, Ole Piss, and the Penises; lost 2 of 3 from The Gumbo Bengals (understandable); and were swept by Ugga (no one understands this series).

In other words, this is NOT the squad you want to play with a National or Regional Seed on the line. But here we are. Might as well sack up and club them to death (please and thank you) like they likely did to that raccoon in the photo. Might want to put a call into Ugga head coach Scott “Propane” Stricklin to see what voodoo lady they called upon to put a curse on the pigs.

Player to Watch: #8 Jr. OF Jace “Chlorophyll... more like Bore-ophyll” Bohrofen (.355/.475/.663 with 14 2B, 0 3B, 13 HR, and 45 RBI). Of course, Arky’s lineup is more about its depth than just one player. There are a solid 6 Woo Pigs who could have taken this spot.

*Note that Peyton Stovall will be out with an injury, but Arky’s lineup can still hurt you without him.

Anchor of Gold Tiger Beat Hottest Pitcher: #8 Arky So. LHP Hagen “The Dazs” Smith (7-1; 2.47 ERA; 13.3 K/9). Yeah, it would have really helped to have Holton in Ace form to counter The Dazs’ dazsling arsenal, but it was not to be. Boo-urns. Heck, even if you just limit him to his SEC stats, he’d be 4-1 with a 3.00 ERA (and his K/9 even goes up to 13.4!). So yeah, he’s good. Reilly had better have the game of his life tonight, as I do not expect our left handed hitters to be able to do all that much against the Arky ace.

On the Mound

Thursday @ 6:00pm CT on SEC Network

#88 Vanderbilt Jr. RHP Patrick “The Life Of” Reilly (3-2; 6.43 ERA)

vs. #8 Arky So. LHP Hagen “The Dazs” Smith (7-1; 2.47 ERA)

Friday @ 7:00pm CT on SEC Network

#95 Vanderbilt So. LHP Devin “The Future” Futrell (6-3; 2.93 ERA)

vs. Arky ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Saturday @ 2:00pm CT on SECN+

Vanderbilt ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

vs. Arky ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Lineup

See you in the comments.