Week Eight (4/6-4/8) vs. Missourah (spits) in the SEC-Big XII Challenge

Thursday @ 6:00pm CT on SECN+

Friday @ 6:00pm CT on SECN+

Saturday @ 2:00pm CT on SECN+

‘23 Record: 19-9 (3-1 Big XII; 3-6 against the SEC for some reason).

Though it boggles the mind, somehow Missourah (spits) has played only 4 games in conference, but has already played 9 OOC games against the SEC, and welcomes Vanderbilt to town for three more. In conference, they have lost to Okie State, but beaten Tejas, Tejas Christian, and Kansas. In their many SEC-Big XII series, however, they opened like a house on fire—sweeping the Knoxville Buttchuggers—then have not won a game against an SEC foe since, having been swept by both The South Cackalacky Game Penises and Kentucky Jamal Mashburn Jersey Wearers at Weddings. They should probably consider flipping that in the future, and playing 3 game sets with in-conference foes, and OOC season opening tournaments and the rare mid-week game against the SEC, but I don’t make their schedule for them.

Player to Watch: #11 5th year SR IF Luke “The Isle of” Mann (.358/.485/.651 with 5 2B, 1 3B, 8 HR, and 22 RBI). The Isle of Mann is but one of three Tigers batting north of .300 this year.

This honor would have gone to #7 Jr. OF Ross “Mr. Lovich Lovich” Lovich, as his slash line (.405/.452/.730 with 6 2B, 0 3B, 2 HR, and 10 RBI in 11 games played, all starts) was much more boombastic. However, he hasn’t played since 3/19 against the Chuggers, when he was presumably injured after his girlfriend caught him red-handed/Creeping with the girl next door/Picture this, they were both butt-naked/Banging on the bathroom floor.

...but really, the stat to watch here regarding the Missourah (spits) offense as it pertains to the Diamond Dores’ weekend starters is this one point made by Tennesseean beat writer Aria Gerson (pending AoG nickname: Ariana Pequeño):

Outside of our bullpen, that’s all they’ll face. Bad news for the Big XII squad.

Anchor of Gold Tiger Beat Hottest Pitcher: With former weekend starter Ian Lohse injured, and even before his injury, he was not able to pitch more than like 2 innings a game, I’ll have to give it to their freshman game one starter, #48 Missourah (spits) Fr. RHP Logan “The Dunceford” Lunceford (3-0; 2.82 ERA; 14.51 K/9). He’s a power righty strikeout specialist, but that’s never been the type of pitcher that’s given Vanderbilt fits. Frankly, if Missourah (spits) had three sexagenarian Jamie Moyers topping out at 60mph, I’d be more worried.

On the Mound

Thursday @ 6:00pm CT on SECN+

#20 Vanderbilt So. LHP Carter “Rev. Holton Heat” Holton (4-0; 2.58 ERA)

#97 Vanderbilt So. RHP Bryce “Big Richie” Cunningham (1-0; 3.05 ERA)

vs. #48 Missourah (spits) Fr. RHP Logan “The Dunceford” Lunceford (3-0; 2.82 ERA)

Friday @ 6:00pm CT on SECN+

#33 Vanderbilt Jr. LHP Hunter “Mr. Manager” Owen (3-0; 3.51 ERA)

vs. TBD. Ooh, it could be anyone, even a boat! (Or, as you’ll note below, a boatload of runs.)

Saturday @ 2:00pm CT on SECN+

#95 Vanderbilt So. LHP Devin “The Future” Futrell (5-1; 2.70 ERA)

vs. #22 Missourah (spits) Sr. RHP Chandler “Miss Chan-an-da-ler Bong” Murphy (3-2; 3.72 ERA)

*Note: I’m not sure I’ve ever seen an announced pitching rotation in college baseball with a definite game one and game three starter, but a TBD in the game two slot. First time for everything, I suppose.

The Lineup

See you in the comments.