This weekend has been pretty terrible, but at least we managed to walk off the HerpaTerps 8-7 with an Ogre sac fly. Our reward for that? A Sunday evening match against an 0-10 team.

Game Three vs. Minnesota “The Body” Ventura

‘23 Record: 0-10 (0-0 Big 10).

Want to see a dead “the body?” Well, this year’s Frozen Gopher Baseball Squadron has yet to register a win, and it’s not exactly like they’ve faced top competition. Sure, it’s forgivable to lose road games to Oregon State and even UC Santa Barbara, but to also lose to New Mexico, St. Louis (3 game sweep), and Milwaukee (the college, not the Brewers), well...

Let’s just say the Frozen Gophers are playing like Jesse Ventura’s political career post electoral victory.

Player to Watch: #7 Jr. OF Brett “Justine” Bateman (.425/.521/.475 with 2 2B, 0 3B, 0 HR, and 3 RBI). Yes, it’s tough to imagine someone starting 10 games, hitting north of .400, and only having 3 RBI. It’s less tough to imagine this on an 0-10 team. Also, before you accuse me of picking a guy with no power, know that Minnesota has but 6 HR all year (their team leader has 2), and their team RBI leader has a whopping 7.

Anchor of Gold Tiger Beat Hottest Pitcher: #43 RS Sr. RHP Richie “Thundercats” Holetz (0-0, 2.89 ERA). According to Tennesseean beat writer Aria Gerson, we’ll face Holetz Sunday, so we’ll be up against a Holetz... fo Sholetz.

On the Mound

Sunday 6:00pm CT against Minnesota “The Body” Ventura on BTN+

#95 Vanderbilt So. LHP Devin “The Future” Futrell (2-0; 1.80 ERA)

#98 Vanderbilt So. RHP Greysen “The Grey Son“ Carter (1-0; 4.50 ERA)

vs. #43 Minnesota RS Sr. RHP Richie “Thundercats” Holetz (0-0, 2.89 ERA)

The Lineup

1 cf 51 Enrique Bradfield Jr L .225

2 2b 42 RJ Austin R .310

3 rf 3 RJ Schreck L .263

4 3b 11 Davis Diaz R .216

5 ss 13 Jonathan Vastine L .366

6 dh 8 Chris Maldonado R .000

7 1b 25 Parker Noland L .244

8 lf 21 Calvin Hewett R .233

9 c 45 Alan Espinal R .200

10 p 98 Greysen Carter B -

Umm... no Futrell on the mound? If this is correct, I’m... just... so confused.

See you in the comments.