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Saturday Predictions: Vanderbilt at South Carolina

Game Penises.


This weekend, we get another shot at ending a losing streak.

Well, the eight-game losing streak this season. But also, the 14-game losing streak specifically to South Carolina. That’s right, the last time Vanderbilt beat South Carolina, Bobby Johnson was the football coach, Chris Nickson was the starting quarterback, and I was a Vanderbilt law student, and I turn 40 next year. So... it’s been a while.

Does the streak end Saturday? Let’s ask the writers.

Tom Stephenson

Okay, sure, South Carolina is 3-7 and just narrowly beat Jacksonville State last Saturday. Do you think any of that matters? Like, really, do you think I’m going to tempt that curse? Two years ago we almost had them and then a freaking backup quarterback took them 75 yards in a minute for a one-point win.

It’s going to be close, and it’s going to be stupid.

The Pick: South Carolina 34, Vanderbilt 31

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: Is it still an SEC upset pick if I pick MISSOURAH to beat THEM?

Andrew VU ‘04

Well, I picked the South Cackalacky Game Penises by two TDs earlier this week in our Pick ‘Em, and I see no reason to change my mind. Do the Cocks suck? Certainly. Like last week against the War Tigers, though, this will be a reminder of how far behind even the dregs of the SEC the NoHo Clark feetball experience is.

The Pick: Vanderbilt 16 - Penises 34

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: Show me the Missourah (spits) Tigers over the School To The East (buttchugs) in a game that cements Ol’ Coach Weak-Chin one tier higher than Coach Bobby Hill in the SEC (and Big XII) coaching hierarchy.

Patrick Sawyer

No. First and foremost, there is a curse or similar bit of dark magic over this game for Vanderbilt. We have had some truly bizarre losses to them with incredibly bad luck and insane coaching decisions. Clark Lea’s first team that lost to ETSU nearly beat SC until a former graduate assistant turned active QB led a 59-second TD drive by not being blitzed. Last year, it took 4 Vanderbilt turnovers for South Carolina to win by 11.

In 2017, South Carolina won 34-27 but only scored 10 points on drives not aided by a 15-yard penalty by Vanderbilt. The 2016 game was decided by an Elliot Fry 55-yard FG with 35 seconds to play. 2015 saw Johnny McCrary turn the ball over four times while Ralph Webb also had a fumble in a 19-10 loss to start the post-Spurrier era in Columbia.

Even James Franklin was not immune to the curse when, in 2012, the officials were blind to a blantant DPI on 4th down of Vanderbilt’s last drive.

Basically, I don’t care that South Carolina is the only rushing offense worse than Vanderbilt. I don’t care that SC gives up double the TFLs that Vanderbilt does. I don’t care that the Game Penises are probably even worse on defense than the Commodores. South Carolina will win, but it will probably be close since only 4 of the 14 straight losses have been more than 14 points.

The Pick: Vanderbilt 21, South Carolina 31

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: I’ll do the dumb thing and take Auburn over Arkansas. Yes, the Piggies just beat Florida, but I think Auburn is figuring some stuff out. Their offense was really bad in the first half against us. The defense will put Arkansas in hell though.