Though Stack has temporarily unblocked us all, we understand why you might not want to talk about shooty hoops all that much right now. Though they’re playing hard, losing SPJ was always going to be a lot to overcome, and when we ran out of Dort License Plates and Baby Giraffe went down, well... 2022-23 is now officially another rebuilding year, which is not where you want to be in year 4 of your tenure.

So, let’s not talk about that for a while. Instead, in just under three weeks, Baseball is coming. First pitch on the season will be at 3pm CT against TCU in the Ballpark at Arlington Globe Life Field at The SEC-Big XII Challenge The College Baseball Showdown (we will then play the Okie Pokes of Stillwater State and future conference foe Tejas in subsequent days). Though pre-season rankings are often bullshit, it would be shocking if all four teams weren’t ranked in the top 25, with 2 or three with a chance to be in the top 10, even.

BASEBALL IS COMING!

Seeing as too much optimism (i.e. too much baseball coverage too fast) might give you the Commodore Bends, let this post serve as the outline for how I plan to cover the Diamond Dores for the 2023 season (and what is to come in the coming weeks before 1st pitch).

Normal In-Season Coverage

1) Opening up the Mail Bag for submissions on Sundays or Mondays...

2)...and Answering said Mail Bag Questions on Thursdays.

3) Series Previews every week before first pitch on the weekend series—on Friday (or Thursday occasionally, depending on the schedule).

4) Daily Game Threads for every game of the season (though the wealthy people with chair-back seats may not show up until it warms up, we’ll be here to talk about every pitch in every game—even midweek games against the Central Arkansas’ and Austin Peay’s of the world. Though some may not get up for these matches, we will be seething with hatred for the Purple Bears, and will make sure Austin is (rhetorically) Peayed on with Beowulfian trash talk. Fate goes ever as fate must, bitches. Expect that for all weekend series (Friday-Sunday or Thursday-Saturday, depending), and every mid-week game (normally on Wednesdays, but sometimes there are Tuesday and Thursday games, as well).

*Note that the Series Preview will serve as the Game Thread for Game 1 of the weekend series.

5) Though sporadic and spontaneous, there will be OTHER STUFF, too. No idea what this will be. It could be anything—even a boat. *Note: OTHER STUFF will probably be SEC Baseball Power Rankings, occasional deep dives into position battles, player reviews, heat checks (who is the hottest Vandy Boy Parlagi has a crush on?), emotional post-game celebration threads, and emotionally biased trash talk that reminds us that I don’t hate the other teams, but, like Kenny Powers (slightly amended)...

“Sure, I’ve been called a xenophobe hater of other SEC teams, but the truth is I’m not. I honestly just feel that America Vanderbilt is the best country baseball program and all the other countries baseball programs aren’t as good. That used to be called patriotism alumni pride.”

...in addition, I’m giving the Player Report Cards I promised never to finish to Tom (who may promise to finish them, but never finish them, or actually finish them... but that’s his prerogative, not mine). Maybe even bringing back the Let’s Get Weird—All World All Time Best Song Contest (if not in-season, then certainly in the coverage lull that is July and August). Pretty sure we left off at Italy, so get those song recs ready.

Pre-Season Coverage (GABBO!) Starting Soon

1) Position Previews. Sure, Enrique Shockwave isn’t getting moved out of CF, but there are still positions in flux—some which might stay that way for the bulk of the season, due to impressive depth, precocious youth pushing for playing time, or relative effectiveness/ineffectiveness in-season. Here is my tentative schedule (work/life permitting).

a) Catchers (Wednesday 2/1).

b) Infielders (Saturday 2/4)

c) Outfielders (Monday 2/6)

d) Relief Pitchers (Wednesday 2/8)

e) Starting Pitchers (Saturday 2/11)

2) Pre-Season Mail Bag. Will open it up on Sunday 2/11 and answer it by Thursday 2/16.

3) Non-Conference Schedule Preview (If I get to it).

GABBO!