Well, we were all correct last week in that Vanderbilt did beat Hawaii fairly easily. We were all wrong, however, in that we actually severely underestimated Vanderbilt’s margin of victory. Vanderbilt opened the season with a 63-10 pasting of the Rainbow Warriors, their first win to open the season since 2018 and the most points they’ve scored in a game since a 63-8 win over Davidson in 1969.
This week, Vanderbilt gets a visit from the Elon
Fightin’ Christians Phoenix, an FCS team that went 6-5 last season. It is completely plausible that Hawaii is worse than a middling FCS team. Vanderbilt enters this matchup as a 20-point favorite. Are our writers expecting a repeat of last week’s performance, or is this one going to be more competitive?
I am properly impressed with Vanderbilt’s season-opening win at Hawaii. Even considering that Hawaii is likely a very bad football team, Vanderbilt has played very bad football teams before and has typically not done that to them. Hell, last season Vanderbilt played a very bad UConn team and the final score was 30-28.
So, I am accepting that this is a new Vanderbilt team and as such, I expect them to beat Elon easily. All hail Clark Lea. All hail Vocokyteps. All hail Pinman. OO!
The Pick: Vanderbilt 48, Elon 10
SEC Upset Pick of the Week: Ah, hell, I don’t see anything I like. ATLANTA (+22) over Clemson.
Andrew VU ‘04
A week after running rampant over the Rainbow Warriors, the Gridiron Dores welcome Elon and their Ultimate Boring Machine. We’re winning this. I’m still not seeing a line, but unless they give us the Ramajama treatment (-42 at the moment), you should feel pretty safe in expecting us to beat those South African emerald mine heir Lex Luthor-esque driverless car nerds who spend the majority of their time being an idiot on twitter and knocking up tech CEOs with in vitro fertilization.
Mike Wright will go off, just like last week. Same with Lil’ Penny Orji. Just enjoy the first two weeks of the year, as it’s not going to get any easier.
The Pick: Vanderbilt 52 - Elon 13
SEC Upset Pick of the Week: The Werewolves of Cin City, though they lost a ton of talent to the draft, are one of the best-coached teams in the country. I have no idea who their QB will be, or if they will have any DBs to slow down the Woo Pig Sooies... but early on in the season, you bet on the coach. Oh, and Treylon Burks was Arky’s entire offense last year, anyway. WEREWOLVES OF CIN CITY (+6) over Arky.
I do not expect to see 2 more defensive TDs, so the scoring may be slightly slowed from last week. Elon may well be better than Hawaii, but I do not think they are enough better to make the game functionally different. Elon probably does score a TD and add a FG or two at some point though. Most likely, it is against the 3rd or 4th stringers after the game is in hand. Predicting a shutout or one-FG output from an opponent just seems to be tempting fate.
In the end, Vanderbilt is again the better, deeper team and has the superior athletes. It is a long game for the Phoenix who will need to rise from the ashes for their Week 2 game after getting torched on West End.
The Pick:Vanderbilt 48, Elon 10
SEC Upset Pick of the Week: Memphis goes into Starkville as 2-TD underdogs and wins. The Pirate’s sword is soon turned to his own throat.
Who is the real phoenix this week? The long forgotten SEC team left for dead for years, rising from its ashes and over the rainbow, ascending to national memedom as, so far, the undisputed best team to play college football this year, or the team simply named “The Phoenix”. Yeah, I’m high on Coach Lea’s supply and will be all the way through this weekend when, at the end of it, we still sit atop the SEC Standings.
The Pick: Vanderbilt 51-Elon 16
SEC Upset Pick of the Week: I’ve always had a thing for Ducks. I also have a bit of a thing for Oregon. I loved Portland when I visited, and I have never experienced an atmosphere quite like Friday Night PAC-12 After Dark Homecoming Football at Autzen Stadium. Last year, Oregon upset 14-point favorite Ohio State in Columbus, and I think they are going to shock the world again at the outset of this season in Atlanta if for no other reason than the PAC-Whatever is always chaotic and the Ducks tend to bring that chaos on the road with them. Give me the Ducks (+17.5) to win over the Bulldogs. Quack quack. Let’s ride.