Feel free to click on the first Global Song Competition post in which we determined “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” was Australia’s best ever contribution to music to learn the rules of this game. In short, we didn’t want to talk about the aftermath of the last regular season baseball series, so I started a distraction contest to...

...determine the greatest song of all time, based on my limited knowledge of music and other countries.

First, we’ll go with the smattering of countries I can accurately point to on a globe and spell correctly—sorry, Kyrgustan (nope: it was Kyrgyzstan)—and then, we’ll go state by state in the good ol’ US of A.

Up first, alphabetically, is the land down under. Though when most people think of Australian music, they think of lyrics involving people having to chunder and/or eating a Vegemite sandwich, but there is a surprising amount of excellent music coming from the land of kangaroos.

*Note: Feel free to disagree with my choices violently, and suggest better songs in the comments. I will not listen to you, nor will it affect the outcome of this ridiculous distraction contest, but I want you all to feel both seen and heard, even though I don’t know what most of you look like, nor sound like, but I want you all to feel effectively placated.

The land of hockey, Quebecois separatists, and whatever the hell’s going on in Newfoundland needs more than one post. You know it, I know it, and the Bahraini Gulf Pearl Divers certainly know it.

The Songs (*Note: Rush “Tom Sawyer” won Canada Part Une, despite my fierce campaign for “Sweet City Woman” by The Stampeders.)

1) The Band “The Weight.”

Though “and put the load right on me” is one of the best unintentional double-entendres in music history, it’s not why I picked this song.

*Now try to get that out of your het every time you hear this late 60s rock classic.

2) The Weakerthans “One Great City!”

“...and let his arcing wrecking ball proclaim... I... hate... Winnipeg.”

Just one of the best songs ever about the ennui of living in Winnipeg. Does that make it the best song ever? Well, ever been to Winnipeg? It’s certainly a contender based on pure honesty alone.

3) Pup “Reservoir.”

You might not have heard of this current Canadian punk band, but, honestly, that’s on you. Pup is one of the greatest acts currently touring North America.

Listen to this hard-charging anthem before you vote. After that, meet me at the reservoir!

4) Downchild Blues Band “Worried About the World.”

Anchor of Gold commenter VU1970 was 100% correct to point out my regretful neglect of the Canadian Blues band that inspired The Blues Brothers. “Worried About the World” was his suggestion, so I’ll go ahead and take it.

Consider this post my mea culpa.

Vote in the Poll (click on the tweet to vote on it, you crumb bums)

Honorable Mention

Ah hell, I just want you to listen to another of my favorite Pup songs. This is for people who like their music softer and more melodic, as it’s a cover of Grandaddy’s A.M. 1980.

Now You Choose the Next Installment

Oh, you already chose the next one. You went with Djibouti over Denmark, Deutschland, and the Dominican Republic, as you are all children. Every last one of you.