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Week 10 Series Preview: at The Kentucky Blue Balls

The Diamond Dores make a trip to the land where the father of every bride is wearing a Jamal Mashburn jersey to his daughter’s wedding. Corbs and co. will need to win this series (at the very least) to maintain momentum towards hosting a Regional.

Syndication: The Enquirer
No lie, this is the first image that pops up in a “Kentucky Baseball” USA Today image search. Also, none of the first 5 pages contain images from the University of Kentucky. The jokes write themselves.
Kareem Elgazzar / USA TODAY NETWORK

Week Ten (4/22-4/24): at The Kentucky Blue Balls

Friday @ 5:30pm CT on SECN+

Saturday @ 11:00am CT on SECNetwork

Sunday @ 12:00pm CT on SECN+

Record: 21-16 (5-10 SEC). The Blue Balls have one SEC series victory (2 games to 1 over Ugga), but have managed to only be swept by Arky. They have taken one of three from each of Ole Piss, aTm, and Missourah (spits). In other words, their true SEC conference record is 3-6.

Player to Watch: #12 Jr. 3B Chase “Dubstep” Estep (.345/.453/.662 with 11 2B, 1 3B, 11 HR, 35 RBI, and 11-14 steals). The Blue Balls 3 hole hitter is their best bat, and it’s not particularly close. His 1.115 OPS is a whopping .221 higher than the next best Blue Ball Bat. Pitch around him. For comparison, Dom Keegan has the exact same 1.115 OPS. Diamond Dore RHPs shouldn’t be afraid to IBB him with a base open if they have to, even though he’s a threat on the base paths.

Anchor of Gold Tiger Beat Hottest Pitcher: #14 Jr. RHP Tyler “Dinesh” Guilfoil (0-1, 2.13 ERA, 3 SV). When he’s not worshipping Satan, mining Bitcoin, or building a server in Erlich Bachman’s garage, Guilfoil is the Kentucky Blue Balls’ closer. He has three saves on the season, with three other relievers garnering only 1 save apiece. He’s got a lot of swing and miss to his game, as he has a 16.34 K/9 on the season. For comparison’s sake, think Vanderbilt reliever Jack “Prancetown Grad Transfer” Anderson (15.26 K/9) on a team that has to rely on him more often. If we always have the lead, we won’t have to worry about him. See how easy it is to coach baseball?

*Note that I did not pick either of their Friday or Saturday starters. That was intentional, as UK doesn’t really have a starting rotation. Their top 2 guys (Hazelwood and Lee) have only 5 starts between them, and have 11 more relief appearances than starts. Further, the four Blue Ball pitchers who have the most starts on the year have ERAs from 5.13 to 8.38.

Confidence Level: High. We swept Missourah (spits) early. Kentucky lost two of three to those same Tigers in the SEC-Big XII Challenge just last week. This is our chance to jump back into the top 25, go over .500 in conference play, and begin our late season push for a #1 seed. If we don’t come out playing our A game this weekend, we don’t have an A game. Of course, you have to respect their bats, as they pummeled Georgia 10-8 and 18-5 in the final two games of their 2-1 series win a month ago.

On the Mound

Friday @ 5:30pm CT on SECN+

#35 Vanderbilt Jr. RHP Chris “McBain” McElvain (4-2; 4.05 ERA)

vs. #50 Blue Balls Grad LHP Mason “Scottish Left” Hazelwood (1-0, 4.50 ERA)

Saturday @ 11:00am CT on SEC Network

#20 Vanderbilt Fr. LHP Carter “Rev. Holton Heat” Holton (4-2; 4.57 ERA)

vs. #48 Blue Balls Jr. RHP Zack “Ends with a K as the H is for you” Lee (0-0, 3.77 ERA)

Sunday @ 12:00pm CT on SECN+

#97 Vanderbilt Fr. RHP Bryce “Big Richie” Cunningham (1-0; 1.66 ERA)

vs. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The Lineup

1 cf 51 Enrique Bradfield Jr L .292

2 c 16 Jack Bulger R .299

3 1b 12 Dominic Keegan R .406

4 rf 34 Spencer Jones L .360

5 2b 6 Tate Kolwyck R .279

6 lf 21 Calvin Hewett R .500

7 3b 11 Davis Diaz R .266

8 dh 1 Matthew Polk R .267

9 ss 9 Carter Young B .252

See you in the comments.