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Bad Gambling Advice: Week 7

Oh, it’s bad, all right.

March Madness Viewing Party At The Westgate Las Vegas Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Last week: 2-6 ATS, 5-3 totals

Season to date: 22-36 ATS, 33-24-1 totals

You know, the bad gambling advice might be too bad. You’re not supposed to be able to fade Bad Gambling Advice either, but that’s been the case for two weeks running, at least with respect to picks against the spread: that’s a 3-14 record over the last two weeks. You would be very rich if you simply picked the opposite of my picks, and that’s not how this is supposed to work. It’s supposed to be mediocre, just bad enough to not beat the vig going either way.

Anyway, this means the Bad Gambling Advice will probably go undefeated this week, and you will lose your money by fading it. Or: it will be very bad again, and you will lose your money betting on it. Either way, don’t bet actual money on these picks. I’m not and neither should you.

Auburn at Ole Miss (11:00 AM CT, ESPN): It’s honestly jarring to realize how much Auburn actually sucks. Anyway, losing in Oxford is a thing that often gets Auburn coaches fired for some reason, so let’s see if Harsin survives this. He probably won’t.

Score prediction: Ole Miss 35, Auburn 17

Picks: Ole Miss -15, Under 56

Iowa State at Texas (11:00 AM CT, ABC): I’m honestly surprised that the Sark hire appears to be working out. Like, that wasn’t something I would have predicted a year ago.

Score prediction: Texas 34, Iowa State 10

Picks: Texas -16, Under 49

Kansas at Oklahoma (11:00 AM CT, ESPN2): What even is this line? Have the oddsmakers watched Oklahoma? Have they watched Kansas?

Score prediction: Kansas 35, Oklahoma 31

Picks: Kansas +9, Over 62.5

Vanderbilt at Georgia (2:30 PM CT, SEC Network): While I don’t exactly think this is going to be a competitive game, this is just an absurd amount of points for Georgia to cover. And this isn’t last year’s Georgia team, nor is it last year’s Vanderbilt team.

Score prediction: (see Saturday Predictions later)

Picks: Vanderbilt +38.5, Over 58.5

Alabama at Tennessee (2:30 PM CT, CBS): I hate, hate, hate picking this game, because we don’t know if Bryce Young is going to play. If plays, I think Alabama will win by at least two touchdowns; Tennessee’s offense will not be able to keep up with the Bryce Young Alabama offense, which will not be stopped by Tennessee’s still absurdly bad pass defense. The Jalen Milroe Alabama offense, on the other hand, is something that Tennessee can outscore. Anyway, I’m betting we’ll get the latter on Saturday since I have to make a pick, and so...

Score prediction: Tennessee 34, Alabama 31

Picks: Tennessee +8, Under 67

Arkansas at BYU (2:30 PM CT, ESPN): So, not only is Arkansas on a three-game losing streak, but the Razorbacks also seem to be getting progressively worse over the course of it. Heading out to Provo does not exactly seem like the type of thing that will be a get-right game.

Score prediction: BYU 38, Arkansas 35

Picks: BYU -1, Over 67

LSU at Florida (6:00 PM CT, ESPN): The only thing that I am certain of is that this will be very bad football.

Score prediction: LSU 24, Florida 21

Picks: LSU +2.5, Under 50.5

Mississippi State at Kentucky (6:30 PM CT, SEC Network): I am done both doubting Mississippi State and believing in Kentucky, so of course I will get this game wrong.

Score prediction: Mississippi State 28, Kentucky 17

Picks: Mississippi State -4, Under 49