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Hooverville Game Thread: Wednesday vs. Ole Piss

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He should be gearing up for prom and high school graduation. Instead, he has the ball in the Diamond Dores first game of the SEC Tourney. Christian Little, the time is yours.

Dweller in Circleville’s Hooverville, 1938 Photo by: Photo12/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

Last night, Ole Piss and their Fabulous Ball-Throwing Ostrich, Doug Nikhazy, survived a late charge from the Auburn University War Tigers to win 7-4 and advance to day two.

As you know from our series against them in mid-May, that Ostrich is their best pitcher. He won’t be available tonight. You also know that their second best pitcher is their closer, Taylor “Broadway Taylor” Broadway, and he also likely won’t be available tonight after throwing 2 & 13 IP to record the save.

*Note: Gunnar “The Hog” Hoglung may well have been their best overall pitcher, but he shook hands with Tommy John earlier this season. He’s still expected to go in the first round of this year’s draft.

Ole Piss can still tear the cover off the ball, so we’re not remotely out of the woods yet. Their stud freshman SS, Jacob “The Rake-ob” Gonzalez, continued his red-hot season with a 4-5 night, and it should just be noted that he has the best swing in the SEC. It’s JJ Bleday level pretty and he’s just a freshman. I hate that this is true, but it is. Also, we’re unlikely to have Mighty Carter Young or Troy “LaLeave the Yard” LaNeve in the SEC Tourney (we might, of course, but it may be wiser to give them a bit more time to heal up so they’re ready for Regionals).

Speaking of the walking wounded... Ole Piss’s Sr. Captain DH Tim “The Elk” Elko is playing with a torn ACL. On a personal curiosity note, it would be interesting to do lineup construction knowing you’ll have station to station baseball if he reaches. He quite literally cannot make the turn. Has to slow down, chop step, touch the bag, turn, and then start from a standstill at each bag (especially 3rd). Just have to stack your two slow guys behind him, or just completely waste any base stealers. Either way, it’s something to take note of defensively if he reaches base tonight.

Wednesday 8:00pm CT on SEC Network

On The Mound

Vanderbilt #42 Fr. RHP Christian “The Answer” Little (3-1, 5.57 ERA)

vs. Ole Piss #16 So. RHP Derek “Dustin” Diamond (3-4, 5.61 ERA)

*Note: Ole Piss has not yet released their starter, but this is an educated guess based on the fact that Screech was their Game 2 starter against us in Mid-May and also pitched Game 2 against Ugga last week. Pitching match-up confirmed on the broadcast.

If Mike “White Pizza” Bianco does, in fact, give the ball to Screech, you should be happy. In our most recent series against Ole Piss (and, let’s be honest, against the umps, as well), the one game we won was the one with Screech on the mound. Diamond went 4 & 13 IP 5 H 6 R 6 ER 4 BB 7 K and took the loss in a 13-2 beat down.

There’s a whole mess of unknowns in this game, including the start time, as though last night’s late game started relatively on time (8:15pm CT), none of the preceding games went to extras.

Either way, I’ll keep you posted. Will update when first pitch is scheduled and with the lineups as soon as either are known.

The Lineup

See you in the comments.