Week Thirteen (5/14-5/16): at The Ole Piss Admiral Ackbars
2021 Record: 34-14 (14-10 SEC). The Ackbars opened 2021 with a three game sweep over three different Big XII teams (TCU, Texas Tech, and Texas), though fellow Big XII teams aTm and Missourah (spits) are ass terrible, so take that as you will. In conference play, they’ve beaten up on the bad teams (sweeping Auburn, Alabama, and The South Cackalacky Game Penises), but struggled against the good ones (losing 2 of 3 to Arky, Clanga, and The Jorts). Of course, they also lost 2 of 3 to The Yellow Shoe Gumbo Bengals, and, most recently, a(ss)T(o)m(outh), so they’re a bit of a mystery, really.
Player to Watch: Ole Piss’s offense can hit the leather off the ball, as they’re batting .306/.402/.472 as a team. As such, there are many hitters to keep an eye on. Though he’s not leading the Ackbars in any category right now, I’ll go with #9 Jr. OF Hayden “Baseball Name” Leatherwood (.315/.366/.503), as he has a long track record of productivity—he hit .361/.477/.639 in the Covid shortened 2020 season, for instance. Also pay attention to Graham, Gonzalez, Bench, Elko, and McCants (again, their entire offense is really good this year).
Their best pitcher was #17 Jr. RHP Gunnar “The Hog” Hoglund (4-2, 2.87 ERA), but he recently shook hands with Tommy John, so his collegiate career is over. #26 Jr. LHP Doug “The Crazy” Nikhazy (6-2, 2.47 ERA) is also a solid SEC starter, and will take over as the Friday guy against Kumar Rocker. #16 So. RHP Derek “Dustin” Diamond (3-3, 4.91 ERA) will get the nod on Saturday vs. Jack Leiter. #21 So. RHP Drew “MC Daniel” McDaniel (4-0, 4.50 ERA) will get the ball on Sunday to face Patrick Reilly.
Confidence Level: Medium to High.
On the Mound
The CDC recommends not trying to hit off these three. https://t.co/VfMSWCnfeP— Andrew VU '04 (@AndrewVU041) May 14, 2021
Friday 6:00pm CT on SEC Network
Vanderbilt #80 Jr. RHP Kumar “White Castle” Rocker (11-1, 2.31 ERA)
vs. Ole Piss #26 Jr. LHP Doug “The Crazy” Nikhazy (6-2, 2.47 ERA)
Saturday 4:00pm CT on SECN+
Vanderbilt #22 So. RHP Jack “Leits Out” Leiter (7-2, 2.10 ERA)
vs. Ole Piss #16 So. RHP Derek “Dustin” Diamond (3-3, 4.91 ERA)
Sunday 2:00pm CT on SEC Network
#88 Fr. RHP Patrick “Life of” Reilly (4-1, 3.86 ERA)
vs. Ole Piss #21 So. RHP Drew “MC Daniel” McDaniel (4-0, 4.50 ERA)
Oh, and for those who were wondering if the new odd pandemic rules would screw us out of hosting, as I said earlier in the year in the mail bag: no, they will not (we’re the bottom right one due to the alphabet).