Corbs Signs Contract Extension

I know you’re likely filled with pandemic anxiety yet again, as Omicron tears through the country to establish itself as the dominant strain within weeks of first detection, the NHL shuts down for a while, games across all leagues are being postponed, you’re trying to schedule an appointment for a booster for your parent who called to ask you “how to use the emails,” and the President finally unveils a plan to get free Covid tests to all of us.

*Note: You may have none of this anxiety, of course, which means, paradoxically, you should actually be anxious. But let’s not go down that rabbit hole for now.

There’s one thing you need not worry about this holiday season: Tim Corbin signed yet another contract extension this week. The best coach in baseball is heading into his 20th season as the third base/proper oral hygiene coach of the Diamond Dores. He’s won two titles, gotten to the finals twice more, and no... he’s not remotely close to being done.

For those who don’t know, Corbin has a “contract for life,” so this is basically a technicality. Every year, the AD asks, “You still in?” and every year Corbs replies, “No diggity. No doubt.” (I like to imagine Corbs speaks like a 90s R&B star when off camera. Your personal Corbin speech-based inner world may vary.)

So yeah, though the world may be on fire, there is one North Star we can all still count on. Now brush your teeth the proper way, oil up your mitt, and start flipping those tractor tires to prepare for the Omaha Challenge. I’m speaking to the AoG commentariat here. The players already know all of this.