Who: Anchor of Gold writers and commentariat. (Also, new people who joined a Vanderbilt sports blog commentariat because they’re Leslie Nielsen fans, I suppose. Stranger things have happened. Hell, one of you talked on the Twatters with the director of The Velocipastor because of one of these things this past spring. Side note: how is our proposed prequel coming along? Pretty sure we all demanded he call it Frankie Mermaid: Swimming in Bitches.)
What: The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! A 1988 film written and directed by Zucker, Zucker, and Abrams, starring the late-career comic romantic lead Leslie Nielsen (RIP) as half loose cannon, half Mr. Magoo detective Frank Drebin. Also, if you’ve never seen the 1982 absurdist comedy TV show Police Squad, do yourself a favor and check it out. The shoe-shine boy as all-knowing crime informant alone is worth the price of admission.
When: 8pm CT.
Where: Netflix or MLB Network (so go ahead and add to your queue or hit record on your DVR now). You also might have a DVD or BluRay (or let’s be honest, VHS tape) of it.
Why: Parlagi requested we watch this tonight in the comments (after our shooty hoops game against aTm got shit-canned for virus reasons), and I, for one, am trying to gaslight him into developing a very specific brand of Anchor of Gold related solipsism. Beyond that, I have found that it is impossible to watch dramas, tragedies, or even documentaries about less than ideal times during this rancid shit-gibbon of a disease-filled terror-year (and no, it did not stop when the calendar flipped from 2020 to 2021). Just literally cannot do it. What I have found myself gravitating towards is absurdist, silly comedies. Things where I can completely shut my brain off and escape. I was never an escapist when it came to literature, film, TV, or art before... but I also never had to wear a mask to work before as 400,000 Americans and counting lost their lives to an unforgiving virus. Things change.
*Why is it on MLB Network?: It’s Enrico Pallazzo! I really shouldn’t have to explain this further.
How: Hit play at exactly 8pm CT on your DVR or Netflix streaming thingy (or turn your TV to MLB Network at exactly 8pm CT). In addition, open up whatever device you use to comment on Anchor of Gold (I assume for most of you, this is the Smart Fridge and/or High End Japanese Turlet). Type comments into comment section. Read comments written by others. Laugh. Lather, rinse, repeat.
That’s it! See you all at 8pm in the comments. I have to assume you’ll all be inaugurated out by that time (note: the word “inauguration” comes from the word “augur,” i.e. one who interprets omens; so an inauguration is quite literally an event in which we interpret omens for the future of our country, and yes... what our country needs now more than ever is an oracle in the form of Detective Frank Drebin).