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AoG Theatre 3000 Presents: The Final Sacrifice

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Zap Rowsdower, motherfuckers!!!

Last week, and yesterday, I teased our 2nd MST3K offering...

I mean... need I say more?

Okay, I’ll say some more. First, I’ll embiggen what you should search for in your Smart TV’s Youtube Channel/App:

Search Youtube for: MST3K (Cinema Edition): S09E10 - The Final Sacrifice (1990)

If watching on your computer, here is the link. The reason I go with the Cinema Editions is that it cuts out all the sketches, which, we can all agree, are the worst part of MST3K. What’s left is the uninterrupted film, and Mike, Crow, and Tom Servo’s riffing. It also cuts it down to a tight 78 minutes (Note: so many of our terrible films have been around 70 minutes long).

This absolute gem of a film is written and directed by Tjardus Greidanus. Yes, that Tjardus Greidanus. As Crow quips mere seconds into the credits, “He comes from a long line of Greidanuses.” [Read that phonetically to get the joke.]

In case you’re wondering what makes this a candidate for one of the best worst films of all time, well...

Director Tjardus Greidanus was a film student at Southern Alberta Institute of Technology. He shot the movie with cameras borrowed from the school.

Always a good sign when it’s a film school student making his first film on borrowed school equipment.

Here is the storyline from IMDB:

Ruled by the evil Satoris, an ancient cult of Canadian wrestlers, the Ziox, are bent on world domination. Instrumental to their plan is a map to the ancient Ziox cult idol, recently discovered by a young boy, Troy. When the Ziox invade his home to recover the map, he flees and ends up in the bed of a passing pickup truck, driven by Rowsdower. Rowsdower and Troy become friends, and together search for the lost idol before the Ziox can claim it and take over the world.

Sure.

To recap: A Canadian film student made a film about a wrestling cult, starring a doe-eyed teen and a beer-guzzling, Canadian tuxedo wearing hero named Zap Rowsdower. And the fate of the world depends on it!

Tonight’s AoG Theatre 3000 Drinking Game Rules:

  1. Drink every time someone says “Zap” or “Rowsdower.”
  2. Finish your beer every time Zap Rowsdower drinks.
  3. Try not to die of alcohol poisoning.

See you bastards in the comments at 8pm CT!