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Beer Goggles: Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound

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Times Like These Call for Something Stronger

Wild Turkey Bourbon whisky seen at the Rooster Grill Bar... Photo by Igor Golovniov/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images

I do like beer. I like beer the way Tom T Hall likes beer. But as pointed out last week, in an era of Coronavirus and Quarantine, beer isn’t strong enough. That’s why I present to you Beer Goggles: Whiskey Edition. For the duration of said Quarantine, you’ll get a weekly dose of whiskey that can get you through the next seven days.

[Author’s Note: And by whiskey, I mean bourbon because that’s the only kind of brown liquor that is worth drinking.]

Distiller: Wild Turkey

Bourbon: Rare Breed

ABV/Proof: 58.4%, 116.8

First up, Wild Turkey’s Rare Breed. Wild Turkey is known for being a strong bourbon on it’s own. Bourbon has to meet a specific recipe and ABV, but distillers have figured out they can expand their market share without having to let the shine sit in the barrels or cut it with water before bottling it. Therefore there has been an explosion of “barrel strength” lines.

Additionally, almost a decade ago, Wild Turkey was bought by the Italian Company, the Campari Group. They infused a ton of cash into the operation and expanded the distilling capacity by triple. The campus is enormous, rural, and paradoxically very industrial inside the barns.

Far be it from me to say the original bourbon distillers were wrong to make it 40% ABV, but listen the stronger the better. And frankly, in this case, the Wild Turkey tastes better when it’s ABV is upped.

Rare Breed has won more medals than Michael Phelps. It has the savory tastes of tobacco with the sweetness or orange and mint. It is soooo smooth, which makes it remarkably dangerous.

I mean if you played your cards right, you could take a few nips and Rip Van Winkle this whole Quarantine. Or at worst you could just sterilize your blood stream. That’s called a win/win.