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AoG Theatre 3000: Velocipastor

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“He’s a man of the claw.”

Yesterday, the CDC recommended shutting down/staying away from gatherings of 50 people or more for at least 8 weeks. Today, even the White House seems to be conceding to the truth, and recommended abstaining from gatherings of 10 or more people. By tomorrow, if trends hold, they will recommend avoiding 2 or more people. By week’s end, we will finally know the answer to Zeno’s Dichotomy Paradox.

*Note: If you don’t understand that joke, now is an excellent time to enroll in some free MOOC math classes.

Remember, everything is cancelled, people are poison, and we’re all bored shitless. There has never been a better time for MST3K style collective absurdist-angst-comedy.

Get your hoarded toilet paper, hand sanitizer, party liquors (and/or other substances), and popcorn ready... as we present Velocipastor.

Hit play at precisely 8pm Central. I will remind you in the comments.

Tomorrow, in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, we will have an Irish double feature—with one short film (comedy) and one feature horror film set in rural Ireland:

  1. Noreen (2010; Amazon Prime): A short film starring Brendan Gleeson.
  2. Isolation (2006; Amazon Prime): A horror film involving genetically modified cows.

*Note: I really wanted to do Grabbers, but it’s only available for $3.99 for rent, which broke my arbitrary rule. Of course, I highly recommend it, as it’s an Irish alien invasion film in which the only way to survive is to stay drunk. Basically Tremors for those well on the way to delirium tremens.

When we next reconvene, we’re heading back to Amazon Prime to watch Zombeavers. Just like with Velocipastor, the title is the film’s summary. Let me know when works best for you (thinking next Monday at 8pm). I don’t want to do it too soon, as we can pretty easily burn out on this.

For the article proposing this idea, and/or to propose more Netflix and Amazon Prime terrible movies for us to collectively roast, click here.