Sarah Fuller makes history amidst terrible, awful, no-good football game

Sarah Fuller made history today, squib-kicking the opening kickoff of the second half and thus becoming the first woman to appear for a Power 5 football team.

And that’s it for the highlights. Vanderbilt failed to convert a 4th and inches at its own 45 on its first offensive possession of the game, Missouri promptly went down the field and scored a touchdown, and Vanderbilt never really threatened to make a game of it. The Tigers led 21-0 at halftime and things only got worse from there, and unfortunately for Vanderbilt, the brief appearance of Sarah Fuller meant that a national audience watched this turd of a performance. Intriguingly, their reaction to the performance was not this:

It is ridiculous that any of us had to see this. Considering the competition, this was about as awful as the 71-13 loss to Florida in 2001, which led to Woody Widenhofer’s resignation three days later. But that was a Florida team that was coached by Steve Spurrier and ranked fourth in the country. This was a Missouri team coached by someone named Eliah Drinkwitz, which came in with a 3-3 record and lost 35-12 to a two-win Tennessee team earlier this season.

Against that competition, Vanderbilt lost 41-0, put up 179 yards of total offense, and never even got into field goal range for Fuller. Missouri had 603 yards of total offense, and somehow, none of this was the story of the game.

Seriously, end this. Now.