DISCLAIMER: Check the name of the column before you rely on anything in here when betting actual money.
Look, as a blogger making picks, this is what I strive for. The Bad Gambling Advice column is 14-14 on the season. This is mediocrity. You’re losing money on the vig by following my advice. Even worse, you can’t fade this advice either, because it’s not so reliably terrible that you can just do the opposite and win that way.
On to Week 3!
Last week: 2-5 ATS, 4-3 totals
Season to date: 5-9 ATS, 9-5 totals
South Carolina at Vanderbilt (11:00 AM CT, SEC Network): Do you want to put your faith in Will Muschamp? No. Do you want to put your faith in Derek Mason? No. Do you want to put your faith in either of these offenses? No. South Carolina, though, is a 12.5-point favorite, and there is a decent chance that they will not score 13 points in this game. Picks: Vanderbilt +12.5, Under 41.5.
LSU at Missouri (11:00 AM CT, some network): Hurricane Delta, the actual name of a hurricane, is stewing in the Gulf of Mexico and threatening Louisiana, which caused this game to be moved to Missouri. It also caused the game to be pushed up to 11 AM because reasons, which means that ESPN will scramble to find a network to air this on. Probably ESPNEWS or something. Anyway, so far this season, Missouri sucks and I will bet accordingly. Picks: LSU -14, Under 54.5.
Florida at Texas A&M (11:00 AM CT, ESPN): How is Florida only laying 6.5 points? Seriously, how? Picks: Florida -6.5, Over 57.
Tennessee at Georgia (2:30 PM CT, CBS): Ugh, so, after two weeks we must now reckon with the possibility that Tennessee is For Real and I actively hate this. Picks: Tennessee +12.5, Under 42.5.
Arkansas at Auburn (3:00 PM CT, SEC Network): Well, as it turned out, Arkansas has already snuck up on an unsuspecting opponent for its first SEC win in nearly three years. So, with that out of the way, you might consider that Auburn will be taking Arkansas seriously and... I think this is correct. Picks: Auburn -14, Under 47.5.
Alabama at Ole Miss (5:00 PM CT, ESPN): Alabama is going to name the final score in this one. Seriously, Ole Miss doesn’t have a defense that can stop Kentucky, much less Alabama. PIcks: Alabama -24, Over 70.5.
Mississippi State at Kentucky (6:30 PM CT, SEC Network): The first rule of a Mike Leach team is that it will never do what you expect it to. Picks: Mississippi State +1.5, Over 58.