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Saturday Predictions: Ole Miss

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Hey! An actual football game!

I kinda think he said... death rabbits.
I kinda think he said... death rabbits.

Vanderbilt plays football tomorrow! For the first time in three weeks!

Ahem. Are we actually excited about this? Let’s ask the writing staff!


Tom Stephenson

Well, the good news here is that Ole Miss does not appear to have a defense. The bad news is that Vanderbilt doesn’t exactly appear to have an offense capable of exploiting that fact, but especially after three weeks off. I like what I’ve seen from Ken Seals thus far — this appears to be more of a Kyle Shurmur situation where the coaching staff just needs to unleash the dragon rather than a Riley Neal situation where the quarterback is the problem — but so far he’s gotten relatively little help.

And on the other side of the ball, well, if Ole Miss doesn’t have a defense, they definitely have an offense. Can Vanderbilt stop said offense? Uh, probably not.

The Pick: Ole Miss 38, Vanderbilt 21

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: AUBURN (+2.5) over LSU, because, uh, why is LSU favored?


Andrew VU ‘04

As reflected in a question and some of our answers in this week’s mail bag, I’m not sure how many of us are ready to get back to watching Vanderbilt feetball—emotionally speaking. Compound that with hurricanes in the gulf, ice storms on the plains, the virus hitting all-time highs, and near-constant panic over what will happen on Tuesday (which most likely will not be able to be verified for weeks), it’s completely justifiable to be pissed off that we don’t get any Knoxville Buttchugger schadenfreude this week.

Maybe THEY can give Fat Phil and Jeremy Pruitt even longer extensions so we can get our much needed fix.

Chuggers Coach Jeremy Pruitt, seen here wearing his gaiter style mask improperly whilst being taken to the stadium by some neighborhood kids.

Oh, and on top of that, we can’t even look forward to basketball season without thinking about this monstrosity:

As for Saturday’s game? I don’t know. We’ll score a lot of points, as Ole Kiffin’s defense is about as robust as our National plan to stop Covid. They’ll score a lot of points, as well, as they are actually pretty good at that part of feetball.

The line was -18 in favor of Ole Ackbar earlier this week, but has since moved our way by a point and a half. Not sure why.

Still, when I think about this game, I turn into the horse from Muddy the Mudskipper. No sir, I don’t like it.

The Pick: Ole Piss 41 - Vanderbilt 20.

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: I have no way to know which versions of the Gumbo Tigers or War Tigers will show up, hence, it is a toss-up, so I’ll roll with the underdog. Ol’ Gus does just enough to keep his jerb and torment DoreonthePlains ad infinitum. WAR TIGERS +2.5.


DoreonthePlains

I am going to ignore the fact that Derek Mason is the head coach. Instead, I'll focus on Ole Miss's terrible defense along with liking our coordinators. I think the time off could go a long way for Seals and his help. The Ole Miss defense is the perfect victim.

Don't ask me how our defense finds some stops. I think they will, whether it is from turnovers or flat out making plays on 3rd down.

The Pick: Ole Miss 34, Vanderbilt 38

The SEC Upset Pick of the Week: I don't like any of the others, but I can Auburn pulling it out as the slightest of underdogs.