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Better Know a Regional Opponent: No. 4 Seed An Ohio State University

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You’re probably thinking, “A Power 5 Conference team for our 4 seed? What gives?!” Don’t.

Big Ten Championship - Ohio State v Wisconsin
Brutus, giving himself up to the authorities after a prolonged hostage situation.
Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images

The School: An Ohio State University. I’m not buying your “The” crap. According to Wikipedia, the University system in Ohio contains:

14 four-year research universities, 24 branch and regional campuses, 23 two-four community colleges and technical colleges, as well as 13 graduate schools, 7 medical schools, 6 law schools, and 10 business schools within campuses.

As such, it is clearly not the lone one. Don’t get me started on University of Miami’s “The U” crap.

Location: Columbus, Ohio. The school is located in the state capitol of Ohio, and, as such, major collegiate athletics takes a back seat to celebrity state legislators, trips to the zoo to see Colo (the oldest gorilla bred in captivity), and visits to the Columbus Museum of Art to see Samuel van Hogstraaten’s 1669 “Bird Still Life With Cat.” Dreamboat Governor Mike DeWine attracts throngs of screaming teenaged girls daily, and the #1 jersey sold in the region is of Minority Whip Kent Smith. Add in the NHL’s Columbus Blue Jackets and The Columbus Crew SC of the MLS, and denizens of Ohio can be forgiven for occasionally forgetting that their flagship university even plays major college sports.

Fun fact: Ohio is currently under a Hepatitis A Statewide Community Outbreak.

Less fun fact: The town’s named after this dude.

The Mascot: Brutus, the Senator who betrayed and killed Caesar.

Record: 35-25, 12-12 in the Big Ten Conference.

How’d they get here? Automatic bid, like everybody else in the Nashville Regional.

Best win: They play in the Big Ten. In baseball. And they didn’t even play either of the Big Ten’s #2 regional seeds (Illinois & Indiana) this year. Hell... I don’t know... Nebraska in the tournament title game? Michigan three out of four times? Both are #3 seeds in the tourney. Their schedule was hardly a murderer’s row.

Most embarrassing loss: Like #2 seed Indiana State, An Ohio State University lost to the #207 RPI Western Carolina Kanamits (8-5 on March 10th). Again, just like the Fightin’ Larry Bird’s Ridiculous Moustaches, it was not so much that they lost a midweek game at a meh team when it was still cold out, but that they trusted the Kanamits when they had only translated a small portion of the Kanamit book To Serve Man, and myopically got onto the spaceship to go to the Kanamit home planet. It was a cook book!!!

VandyTigerPhD made this a few years back, and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to use it every chance I get.

Yes, I plan to beat that joke to death... mother.

Most terrifying batter: Jr. OF Dominic “The Calzone” Canzone. Ben Wyatt’s favorite player slashed an impressive .350/.445/.621 with 15 HR and 42 RBI. Probably best not to let people on in front of him.

Best pitcher: It’s a toss-up between likely Friday starter Fr. RHP Garrett “Burned Hen” Burhenn (6-3, 3.53 ERA) and Closer Jr. LHP Andrew “Such is” Magno (4-3, 2.20 ERA, 14 Saves).

Best name: Sr. IF Kobie “Dandy” Foppe.

Best NCAA Tournament result: They won it all in 1966. It is currently not 1966.

Should Vanderbilt Be Scared? No.

*Because I want to frame this comment... Parlagi’s preview of An Ohio State University:

Very well. I will preview an Ohio state university.

The University of Cincinnati was founded in 1819, and has an enrollment of over 44,000 students. The Bearcats play in the American Athletic Conference. Although they only went 30-29 (13-11 AAC) this year, they won the AAC tournament and received the automatic bid.

Cincinnati struggled against the highest level of competition, going 0-7 against East Carolina, Auburn, and Louisville. However, they did win 3 of 4 each against UConn and UCF, and split 2 games against Indiana.

Cincy’s pitching has been poor this year. They have a cumulative ERA of 5.47, and WHIP of 1.60. No one has thrown a complete game all season. They also lack the bats to win many shootouts, having a cumulative slash line of .257/.352/.365. No one on the team has more than 7 home runs. Advancing very far in this year’s tournament will require Cincinnati to maintain their postseason hot streak.

The Bearcats open the NCAA Tournament in Corvallis, as a 4-seed against #16 Oregon State. Their start time is Friday night at 9:00 PM CDT.

See you tonight in the comments.