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Series Preview: Vanderbilt Heads Down to South Cackalacky to Take On The Game Penises

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...the last place South Cackalacky Game Penises.

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Game Penis.
Photo by Michael Steele/Getty Images

Two of our last three SEC series are on the road against last place teams (SC and UK). The last time we went on the road to face a last place SEC team, we swept Ramajama right out of Gump Land. This weekend The Diamond Dores bring their red hot bats and 8 game winning streak down to Columbia to take on the rebuilding South Cackalacky Game Penises (24-20; 5-16 SEC).

At the plate, The Penises are looking up in envy at Mario Mendoza, as they are batting a last in the conference .185/.282/.317. Individually, RS So. C Luke “Hill Berries” Berryhill is their best hitter, slashing .290/.411/.594 with 10 HR. Sr. Utility man Jacob “The Twin” Olson can get it out of the park, as well, leading the team with 12 HR. Of course, he’s a full on boom or bust player. Sr. OF TJ “Shopkins” Hopkins has speed (14-17 stolen bases), so we’ll have to keep an eye out for him, as well. That’s about it, though.

They’re not exactly faring that much better on the mound, either. The Penises have a 5.59 Team ERA in conference play (good for 11th in the league). I mean, they are in the final three weeks of conference play, and still have TBA for a Sunday starter.

You might want to go ahead and schedule that broom rebristling.

On the Mound

FRIDAY 6pm CT SECN+: Jr. RHP Drake “Safari Planet” Fellows (9-0, 3.67 ERA) vs. Fr. RHP Daniel “Reverend Jim Ignatowski” Lloyd (3-3, 7.43 ERA)

SATURDAY 7pm CT ESPNU: Fr. RHP Kumar “White Castle” Rocker (5-4, 4.31 ERA) vs. Jr. RHP Reid Morgan (3-4, 3.63 ERA)

SUNDAY 12:30pm CT SECN+: Sr. RHP Patrick “Mad Dog” Raby (7-1, 2.77 ERA) vs. TBA

I won’t be making this road trip, but if you do, go eat some BBQ at a place attached to the minor league ballpark and right next to the old abandoned Insane Asylum called “Bone-In BBQ.” I made the trip last summer, and you can read about it here.

In closing, go Dores. Don’t suck; beat the Cocks.