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Let’s forget about basketball!
Vanderbilt comes into the second game against Florida with a record of 17-5 and 2-2 in the SEC. The Commodores will send Patrick Raby (3-0, 0.70 ERA) to the mound.
Florida will counter with, presumably, this guy:
Naked Florida man breaks into home, masturbates, defecates on floor, and eats contents of vacuum https://t.co/75revALpqJ pic.twitter.com/uAfqkMDrzi
— Florida Man (@FloridaMan__) March 22, 2019
And if that doesn’t work, this guy’s available out of the bullpen:
Florida man who allegedly threatened family with Coldplay lyrics ends standoff after SWAT promises him pizza https://t.co/wva4owFz7m pic.twitter.com/nHZ1mmm4rU
— Florida Man (@FloridaMan__) March 22, 2019
They’ll need some offense, though. Maybe from this guy:
Birthday submission: Report: Florida man high on flakka has sex with tree and calls himself Thor https://t.co/XC9o4Hywzc pic.twitter.com/iaVCnKHrRk
— Florida Man (@FloridaMan__) March 21, 2019
Forget it. Have fun.