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Beer Goggles: Hunter’s Orange

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DANK AND RESINOUS

Mississippi Rebels v Tennessee Volunteers Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

Opponent: THEM

Brewery: Crafty Bastard Brewing

Beer: Big Bastard Double/Imperial IPA

ABV, IBUs: 9.0%, 130

The best part about playing your rival is the unabashed hate that comes with it. Like ESPN championing the Embrace Debate model for its platforms, this week I champion Embrace Hate*. There is a nice irony to all the rivalry hatred coming during the only weekend of the year with perfect cross section of family, football, and all the things you hate about your family and their football teams under one roof.

What’s even better is that Beer Goggles is all about boozing it up to the tune of your opponents best craft brew and trying to devise a way your team can be victorious. So let the hate flow through your veins along with the fermented hops, malt, and barley.

THEY have lost five games and two were at the beginning of the season in a beautifully schadenfreudistic (it’s a word. Don’t look it up) fashion. The other three were to top ten teams. One could make an argument for growth and playing well. Vegas has made that argument: 21.5 point favorites.

Anywhoo, the Dores have the chance to make it four in a row, and they have three tremendous skill position players on offense. You’d think that for one game, the coaching staff could devise enough crafty plays; just scheme open enough guys to keep it competitive.

So it was a no brainer to choose Crafty Bastard Brewery. Knoxville has so many breweries, but ol’ Crafty Bastard combines three things I love- craft beers, calling the Vols bastards, and punny names.

If choosing the brewery was easier than I thought, than the beer was practically a neon sign blinking on the webpage. Big Bastard does what only a sequel type name can do- doubles down on what it is doing right. Big Bastard is a Double/Imperial IPA. It is a “monster of a beer.” It has 9% APV and 130 ABUs. 130! (enough to make you type APUs).

It’s described as having a pleasing initial taste with fruity notes. Then it explodes with citrus flavor, and we all know you can’t spell Citrus (bowl) without UT. Unlike other imperial types, this one is light colored, much like that hideous color THEY demand to put on everything. But most importantly, it is “extremely dank and resinous.” DANK AND RESINOUS.

It’s gonna knock your socks off and make you say some cuss words.

Anyway, it’s been a hell of ride this year. And I mean ride, because after this year’s season you should all be riding in the back of ambulance, and no one should be driving.

*don’t embrace actual hate. That’s stupid. Just embrace the absurd hate that comes with the shenanigans we associate in and around college football.