Opponent: Ole Miss Rebels
Brewery: Yalobusha Brewing Co.
Beer: Heavy Hitter
ABV, IBUs: 7.2%, N/A
Ole Miss might be associated with the distilled spirits aged in oaken barrels that will melt your ice faster than Summer time in Oxford, but they also have a solid history of malted hop frenzies. So I went on a search for the perfect Ole Miss Beer Goggles beer.
Looking for a brewery in Oxford, MS, is kind of like looking for a National Championship caliber football team. Hey, oh! Shots fired! But hey, when you’ve never won an SEC title (SoCon, sure), you have to project the loathing onto others.
There used to be a brewery in Oxford, eponymously named Oxford Brewing Company, but it’s permanently closed now. It is likely due to a combination of the culture and laws in Mississippi. MS is one of three states that are considered dry states, and each county has to choose to sell alcohol. This limits the market and makes distribution tricky.
Additionally, in 2017, the laws changed and microbreweries had to purchase an additional bond (essentially an alcohol permit) to sell alcohol on their premises, a revenue driver for most breweries since there is no distribution involved.
Certainly there are more factors at play, but these two seem like fairly steep barriers of entrance.
But, there is a beer savior to the rescue- Yalobusha Brewing Co. They have relocated to Oxford and will provide all the beverages to wet your whistle.
You’re not going to find a double IPA or some dank hopped up pine tree in a bottle from YBC. Everything is easy drinking or aged in bourbon barrels. Low IBUs and high ABVs. TBH that’s my speed.
Plus, each beer has a great name, and marketing works on me. Like really works. I almost picked “Larry” just because that’s the nickname I gave my first son before we had chosen a name for him.
Instead of Snopes, Blues Trail, or Testify, I went with Heavy Hitter. It’s a bourbon barrel aged amber ale that is seasonal. Wait, so a beer that only comes out for part of the year and also references a target happy free safety? Yep, this one is the pick.
It’s got 7.2% which is what you need when you’re still rebuilding from the past coaching staff while the three other teams in your division are are in the top 10. The SECW, ladies and gents!
After a few heavy hitters, the way I see it, the Dores need to stop the run entirely and dare Rich Rod and his band of merry QBs to sling it around. If our secondary can’t bother to stop 5’9” leading WR Elijah Moore, than maybe we need to consider starting our own brewery.
Maybe Mason will implore Gdowski to target our #1 NFL TE prospect with more. Or utilize the Senior WR who came back for his final year to put up solid game tape. I’d say something about Vaughn, but he’s been pretty solid. Have we considered running the option? What about the triple option? I mean, if the offense as presented isn’t getting it done, then how bad could a totally new scheme fail?
While we’re here, has Ole Miss considered changing their mascot to the Beers? It’s only one letter off from Bears. The Ole Miss Beers. That doesn’t suck.