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Beer Goggles: Beer Don’t Care if It’s a Bye Week

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Three Beers to Express My Complex Feelings on this Season

New Whole Foods set to open at the new 2nd and PCH shopping center in Long Beach. Photo by Brittany Murray/MediaNews Group/Long Beach Press-Telegram via Getty Images

Remember in Seinfeld when Jerry decided to get in touch with his emotions, and he experienced a tear for the first time? “What is this salty discharge?” That’s how I feel about this Bye Week.

I was fully expecting to spend the week writing posts about why CDM should be fired, posting conspicuous statistics about failed defensive schemes, unironically, ironically trolling why Lane should be the next coach, and relating them all to the most bitter, dankest beers around.

But what am I to do with an extra week sitting on a win against a Top-25 team, an offense that moved the ball, and a defense that shut down one of the more explosive offenses in the Power 5? What is this feeling of happiness? It’s like a little bit of hope has crept back into my heart.

Here are three beers that best explain this class case of emotions I’m in.

Brewery: Southern Grist Brewery

Beer: Loud Whispers

ABV, IBUs: 5%, —

This New England Pale Ale might be the perfect explanation to both my feelings and the crowds at Vanderbilt Stadium. It’s soft spoken but has found it’s voice. It’s double dry aged hops turn it into a bold American Pale Ale. It’s like if a coach is coaching for his job, passes on two QB’s and uses the best athlete as a catalyst for the offense. Sometimes what you think you have isn’t as good as you actually do.

Brewery: Bearded Iris

Beer: Chasing Rainbows 9

ABV, IBUs: 5.8%, —

This would be more apropos if it were the Chasing Rainbows 6, because you know, the number of years CDM has been at VU. But, it’s the 9th version of this “prismatic” IPA which combines three different hops- Enigma, Vic Secret, and Zappa. The all black can with drops of color on it has me all in my feelings about this team. I want to give up hope, to focus on the darkness around the last bright spots, but there is potential and even execution on the field.

Sidenote: I hope there is a spin off of this beer that incorporates cannibus and shrooms and it’s called “Chasing Neon Rainbows.” Double points for an Alan Jackson song pun.

Brewery: Turtle Anarchy

Beer: Another Way to Rye

ABV, IBUs: 6.0%, 60%

This is one of my favorite Nashville beers. It’s an IPA that masquerades as a red ale. But don’t be fooled, it spicy despite all the Rye Malt. And it will get you there. That’s also how I feel about the Dores this year. I’m going to watch, and I know who they are despite any window dressing or facade. And it will be bitter while I do it, but it’s the fix I need because I just can’t quit them.