Vanderbilt loses hideous game to Kentucky, 56-47

If you thought, when the Vanderbilt Commodores jumped out to a 16-4 lead over the Kentucky Wildcats in the game’s first five minutes, that you were about to watch an exciting game of basketball... well, you were dead wrong.

The remaining 35 minutes, in which Vanderbilt scored 31 points, barely qualified as “basketball.” After starting the game by making 5 of their first 6 three-point attempts, Vanderbilt would go 2-for-19 from behind the stripe, finishing 7-of-25. For good measure, the Commodores committed 12 turnovers.

Meanwhile — well, Kentucky wasn’t exactly making the game watchable, either. The Wildcats shot 4-of-16 from three and committed 15 turnovers themselves.

In addition to all of that, the game featured two different players taking shots to the groin, never mind the shot to the groin to all of us brave people who watched the game in its entirety. That game was brutal to watch, and the best thing you can say about it is that it wasn’t a blowout.

Instead, it was a 56-47 Kentucky win that left most of us wishing we’d spent the last two hours in the dentist’s chair. Or possibly, well, taking actual blows to the groin. Vanderbilt’s now 0-3 in the SEC, by the way. And speaking of the groin, South Carolina’s coming to town next. That sounds brutal.