With five days before we welcome the Blue Raiders of Empty S-U and their referee approved 13 defenders on field goal attempts, now is as good a time as any to check the confidence level of our fanbase.
Now is also a good time to clean my shower, which has recently crossed the threshold to possibly sentient soap scum, but these polls don’t write themselves, people! Priorities.
At the moment, Mason’s seat is neither hot nor cold (but much like former Cubs Pitching Coach Breckma advised, has decided to heat the ice to get the best of both worlds), our running backs are placed into a sort of non-Ralph Webb Schrödinger’s Cat Box, and Kyle Shurmur is putting his job as Head Coach of the New York Football Giants on hold for his senior year.
In short, the Het-O-Meter is stuck on Damp.
On Tuesday, we’ll have our panel of “experts” tell you their predictions for the season, but for now, let’s hear where you’re at.
*Note, the poll made this all glitchy, and refused to let it publish. All of our Indiana Jones-esque “top men” were on the case, and none of us could figure out why, so this is our compromise—just showing you the poll options and having you choose one and show your work in the comments.
How optimistic are you about the 2018 Vanderbilt football team?
Option 1: I just got back from freshman orientation, met Mason, learned to do the VU hand signal, just drank 12 Natty Lights, and there’s this girl in my dorm who looked at me once. 12-0 and going to the Ship, baby! BWAAAAAMP!!!
Option 2: As a sophomore, and more wise than fool, I won’t allow such youthful enthusiasm to get the best of me. I’m an adult now, must choose a major, and make responsible decisions. Also, that girl was looking at the guy behind me. As I have done the responsible thing, and chosen to limit myself to 8 Natty Lights, I will say 8-4. Our punter will be MVP of the Cheez-Its Bowl. Huzzah.
Option 3: Oh, to be young and naive. As a junior, I realize putting too much faith into Vanderbilt’s football team is a fool’s errand, and my economics teacher, Prof. Vrooman, taught me it’s better to spend more money on quality beer, as both faith in Vanderbilt football, and drinking Natty Light, brings with them diminishing marginal returns. 6-6, with a bid in Shreveport or Birmingham. We secure an APR bowl bid the week before we play the Chuggers, but keep the State Championship in Nashville.
Option 4: They’ll learn soon enough. Beer isn’t strong enough to watch Vanderbilt football. As a senior, I know a few things for certain: 1) Finding a job will be easy, 2) Wild Turkey is best to watch Mason’s squads, 3) We’re going 4-8 this season (1-7 SEC), and 4) We will beat the ever-loving hell out of the Chuggers.
Option 5: Alum here. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. Just because I can’t drink like I used to doesn’t mean I don’t mainline bourbon during football season. We’re going 2-10, beating only TN State and The Chuggers, we’re never upgrading that stadium, Mason gets canned in November, hets are soaked, the dumpster is on fire, and we’ll all be looking forward to basketball and baseball season before SEC play starts. Oh, and Jeff Green travelled.