Bowl Game Preview: We Have Nothing to Worry About

For those of you inclined to compare coach to coach records, with special emphasis paid to head to head results, I understand why you would be apprehensive about our upcoming Bowl bout with the Baylor habitual rape apologists at best Bears. The one and only meeting between Head Coach Derek Mason and Head Coach Dr. Steve Brule Matt Rhule resulted in a game so horrid, Vanderbilt fans can only refer to it as the inaugural Het Wetting.

Coming off the high of the James Franklin era, it is forgivable that Vanderbilt fans en masse expected new coach Derek Mason—he of the Stanford defense that shut down the offensive brilliance of the Oregon Ducks—to have an easy go of things in the first game of his tenure against the historically less than cromulent Temple Owls.

In fact, all four of our contributing writers at the time picked Vanderbilt to have an easy go of things against the Temple Wet Hets.

Temple sufficiently wet our hets that night—to the tune of a 37-7 beatdown that would set a depressing tone for year one of the Mason era.

Regardless, I am here to tell you we have nothing to worry about on Thursday. Peer a little closer into my 2014 Vanderbilt v. Temple preview, and you’ll see how though Temple wet our hets, former coach Matt Rhule had very little to do with it:

Andrew VU ‘04: Derek Mason will attempt to drag the team coached by Dr. Steve Brule Temple Head Football Coach Matt Rhule umm... Administration Specialist, Head Football Coach Nadia Harvin, into “Deep Water,” thus getting their Het Wet. Temple’s been preparing for this all off-season, though, and have adopted #WetHet as their rallying cry. Will our deep water approach get their het wet? All but assuredly. Will we be ready for their wet het? We shall see.

Coach Harvin, apparently, is the first female Division I Head Football coach, and frankly, has done so with surprisingly little fanfare, which, while odd, is a positive development for female coaches working in men’s sports. Recently, when Greg Popovich named former WNBA star Becky Hammon as an assistant coach of the San Antonio Spurs, sports news agencies were tripping over themselves to cover this story, peppering the airwaves with nonsense like, “Can a woman really command the attention of a team of grown men” and “When they have to banish her to the woods five days monthly, how will the team fare down a member of its coaching staff?” Supporters of Hammon openly wondered if there ever would be a day when a woman would be given a coaching opportunity in a men’s sport and the news would not revolve around her being a woman.

In Administration Specialist, Head Coach Nadia Harvin, they appear to have gotten their wish. Truly, this is a banner moment for proponents of equality in the workforce.

She’s certainly qualified, as her resume indicates she’s paid her dues, working under seven head coaches while at Temple:

”She has worked with seven head coaches, beginning with Bruce Arians.”

Further, despite being named Head Coach, this football lifer has decided to adopt a dual role as her own Administrative Specialist. As most head coaches are perfectionists, it’s surprising Harvin is the first to take the “If you want anything done, you have to do it yourself” mindset to the duties of an administrative specialist. I support it, and will be rooting for Harvin and her boys when they’re not playing Vanderbilt.

The Pick: Vanderbilt 17, Temple 3. Though P.J. Walker is certainly a perfectly cromulent quarterback, his het will get far too wet to function against Mason’s gritty 3-4 defense. Both touchdowns will be scored by the defense. As will both field goals.

As you can clearly see, Rhule was little more than a figurehead during his time at Temple. Beyond that, by not bringing Nadia Harvin with him to Texas, he exhibited the hubris of toxic masculinity upon taking the head coach job at Baylor.

In short, it is no shock that a man who has decided that he and he alone is responsible for the success of his tenure in Philadelphia would overlook systemic rape cover-ups and decide to go it alone in the land of the Branch Davidians.

Surely if Baylor had hired Administrative Specialist, Head Football Coach Nadia Harvin, we should all be shaking in our boots. However, much like many a program who has hired a Bill Belichick protege hoping he will prove to be a passing facsimile of the real thing, Baylor’s hiring of Matt Rhule will prove ineffective at best.

Do you fear Charlie Weiss, Romeo Crennel, Eric Mangini, Josh McDaniels, or Matt Patricia?

No.

As such, why fear anyone from Nadia Harvin’s coaching tree? Again, if Mason had been pitted against the chess grandmaster wit of Nadia Harvin, we should rightfully be terrified.

She’s not in Waco, and she won’t be in Houston this Thursday.

Sleep easy, and go Dores.