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Oracle Ranks VU Women's Tennis #1 let's take a trip to the Oracle Conclave 2005.

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A little Cunnil-Hingis.
A little Cunnil-Hingis.
Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

I know, I know... you were likely busy punching your Wade Baldwin IV poster so hard, your hand is currently in the neighbor's apartment.  However, if you were looking at the ticker scroll on SECN during overtime like I was (I literally lowered my eyes so as to grab my tumbler and take a drink, or I wouldn't have seen this), you would have noticed that Oracle, a company that still exists, apparently, ranks women's tennis for some reason.

No, I cannot find a link that supports this.  At all.

I don't know.  Fuck it.  I'm not talking basketball tonight.  Perhaps ever.  The pain is making me angry!  What kind of shoddy ass conclave is this?!  Have you hayseeds never heard of glow tape?  No, I'm not doing my rap.

Vandy Women's tennis is still #1.  Oracle in the house, say "Ho!!!"

We'd like to thank the estate of Laura Branigan for the use of the song "Gloria."

Take it away, Jimmy Freaking Filau!  He opened for Hootie at the Pfizer Conference!

Will Ferrell SNL Oracle Skit 2005 from Alford Media Services on Vimeo.

Who the hell's duffle bag is this?!?!