In a completely out of context interview, the Ol' Bald Poach claimed certain Anchor of Gold writers were piles of human excrement.
According to the shiny dome of Happy Valley:
"Christian spent most of his time solving problems, running from problems, taking a lot of criticism, which I'm really, really defensive about," says second-year Penn State coach James Franklin, referring to [CDA's] struggles on a team that returned just four other offensive starters last year. "To be honest with you, I'm a little angry. I don't know if it was fair, just or realistic."
In response, D'Andrea claimed: "Sure I've spent time running from problems. Problems you created. I learned it from watching you, James! I learned it from watching you." (uncontrollable sobbing)
"I don't think you understand the context," said Anchor of Gold writer Andrew VU '04. "The article was about junior QB Christian Hackenberg."
"Who are you to discredit my pain?!" screamed CDA through muffled tears.
"Who is ESPN to not use the Oxford comma?!" said VU '04.
"Who has actually read this far into this article?" said ah who gives a rat's ass.
Here's some content, you bastards. It's up to you what to do with it.
"He really broke the fourth wall of sports reporting," said Oxford Professor of Sports Blogging The Earl of Chesterton Upon Danforth Quayle. "However, one must ask when this article is going to end, and when it does, what will that have effectively done to this line of reasoning, muddled as it seems to be?"
"Why the hell have I read this far into this pile of nonsense?" asked eminent physicist VandyTigerPhd. "And why am I getting quoted when I have said nothing about this at all?"
Stay here for more information as it develops.