Caleb Azubike only needed three sentences to turn a boring summer Sunday into a boiling cauldron of rage for Tennessee fans. The long break between dinner and a new episode of "Bar Rescue" (I'm assuming) gave the Commodore senior enough down time to rile up an entire fanbase and prove that One Direction fans and men's rights activists aren't the only ones who can interchange "your" and "you're" in online arguments with impunity.
It started with a simple retweet from teammate Rashad Canty:
The mind is a terrible thing to waste pic.twitter.com/xiqeanMBQ1— Rashad Canty (@Stuntman_11) August 2, 2015
That led to a logical jump to this:
UT is straight trash. Trash City, Trash School, Trash Sports! I wanna entertain some folks today!— Caleb Azubike (@VandyKid_55) August 2, 2015
At the very least, the Commodore senior doesn't mince words. In response, several Twitter enfants terrible with various spellings of "Vol" in their account name unleashed the fury on Azubike.
@BoobieTheGoat All I see is a DUB BUDDY!— Caleb Azubike (@VandyKid_55) August 2, 2015
@VandyKid_55 this is pathetic— topher jones (@topher_jones4) August 2, 2015
Azubike, unfazed, dropped the classic Vandy counter-argument to 95 percent of arguments with Tennessee fans: learning. CALEB AZUBIKE CAME HERE TO PLAY SCHOOL, CARDALE.
I didn't come to Vandy to play in front of 100k people. I came to graduate!— Caleb Azubike (@VandyKid_55) August 2, 2015
And, as is tradition, Tennessee fans turned out in droves to take part in an utterly meaningless argument. Azubike doubled down on Vanderbilt's academic pedigree:
@Sabanocchio Possible where? Definitely not UT. Like I said I came here because one day your sons and their sons after them will work for me— Caleb Azubike (@VandyKid_55) August 2, 2015
@Sabanocchio What the actual hell do I have to be envious of? Please tell me something UT did last year that I didnt already do twice over??— Caleb Azubike (@VandyKid_55) August 2, 2015
Azubike would later catch heat from Vol supporters for not being thoughtful enough to offer Sabanocchio a salve for his recently inflicted burns. He also got some help from the Commodore contingent on Twitter:
Tennessee fans continued to lob insults ranging all the way from "you suck" to "Vandy sucks" at the defensive lineman, but he took the affair in stride.
@Nation_Grizz Already did. The day after we played.— Caleb Azubike (@VandyKid_55) August 3, 2015
Attention UT Fans: Yall need a spokes person who can atone for your grievances with me. Getting way too many tweets at once cant reply 2 all— Caleb Azubike (@VandyKid_55) August 2, 2015
And then Barron Dixon dropped what should have been the final word on the matter, if only it weren't guaranteed that arguments on Twitter last a minimum of six weeks:
@VandyKid_55 They've had 3 winning seasons since 08 weve had 4...but WE'RE living in the past...smh do work this year bro— Barron Dixon (@WildDog_44) August 3, 2015
So what was the reason behind Azubike's outburst?
Just bored bro haha https://t.co/3mk3bDNhbT— Caleb Azubike (@VandyKid_55) August 2, 2015
In all, it played out according to the template argument between Vanderbilt and Tennessee fans. UT fans point out their overall record against Vandy, Vandy fans point out how much better their academics are, and neither side budges an inch from their original standpoints. Still, it entrenched Azubike's status as a fan favorite - and as a target for when the Commodores return to Knoxville this fall.