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Anchors Aweight: Bomb Shots

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You need to dance, and you don't have time for lessons. That's ok, the bartender is willing to give you the confidence you need, one bad decision at a time. Time for bomb shots!

Lo, your bad decisions await.
Lo, your bad decisions await.

It's bye week, which means you can spend your Saturday watching football and drinking heavily without having to worry about actually remembering any of it. Actually, given the events of the last seven weeks, this probably would have saved you a lot of misery come Sunday anyhow. In honor of not caring any longer, we are bringing you two AA's this week, all dedicated to everyone's weapon of choice - booze.

Today's installment: bomb shots. I'm about 10 years removed from the proper age of these concoctions (assuming there is such a thing), and about 5 removed from the last time I took one, so forgive me if I'm a bit out of touch with what the kids are drinking. I do know that these potent potables will remove the last of your decorum, and that's really the goal if you are taking shots at all. No, none of these beverages will make you funnier, wittier, or more attractive, and they sure won't make the football you watch any better, but you will think all of these things are happening, and that's what's important. Perception is 99% of reality, so impair yours today!

A quick primer before we get to the ill-advised drink orders. A bomb shot is basically any booze dropped into any beverage, the whole mess chugged as fast as possible to avoid tasting it. The variations are as endless as the types of booze available, but there are two basic beverages used as bases, beer and energy drinks. Beer is cheap, contains alcohol already, and usually tastes good or at least inoffensive. The drawback is that the shots can get pretty foamy, and not everything mixes well with it. Energy drinks are expensive, don't have booze, and generally taste like dumpster juice. They do have caffeine, which will get that booze circulating faster, and they don't get as foamy. You can add just about anything to them, as well, since the taste can't really get any worse. Pick your poison, and go hard. There are mistakes to be made and others to blame.

Beer Bombs

The Boilermaker

Probably the first bomb shot, the Boilermaker is just a shot of whiskey dropped in a beer. In England, a boilermaker is one beer mixed with another beer, just the kind of nonsense that loses wars.

The Irish Car Bomb

Some people will say that this is named for the ingredients, and some will reference violence in Northern Ireland, and both will be right. I suppose there is truth in the name, because a few of these bombs, well placed in your evening, will lead to a lot of destruction and despair. Half a shot of Jameson with half a shot of Bailey's floated on top, dropped into a half-pint of Guinness. Do not wait on drinking this, either. The results of that mix are devastating enough fresh.

The Flaming Dr. Pepper

Because what this night needs is more fire, we bring you a drink you probably can't order anyway. 3/4 shot Amaretto with a float of Bacardi 151 on top, set on fire and dropped in a glass of cheap domestic. There will always be a guy that tells you the bar won't serve these because of "the accident" a couple years ago, but it is usually hard to find because nobody carries 151. If you can order it, the bartender probably won't light it, but for a tip they'll leave their lighter and turn their back. Worth noting, you probably want this to start your night, unless you aren't really attached to your eye brows.

The Lunchbox

Possibly not a classic, and probably for good reason, I include this because of one guy in college who not only insisted on ordering them, but also insisted he liked them. That guy was a tier one asshole, and now you can be too! Half a beer, mixed with a shot of OJ. Yes, orange juice in your beer. Drop in a shot of Amaretto, and boom!, instant asshole. Extra-medium shirt not included.

Energy Drink Bombs

The Jagerbomb

The beginning of the end of civilization, the Jagerbomb started the craze over energy drink shots that has fueled the last decade-and-a-half of college students and 20-somethings clinging to their glory days. A shot of Jagermeister dropped in 4 oz of Red Bull. We used to do these at home while watching Cubs games, pouring one any time something good happened. Have I mention it has been at least 5 years since I've had a bomb shot?

The Glitter Bomb

Same as above, but with Goldschlager instead of Jager, for that added appeal of telling people you drank gold. Never had this, so I can't attest to taste, but I'm sure Instagram is lousy with pictures of girls yelling "Woo!" and holding one. That's got to be an endorsement of sorts.

The Cherry Bomb

Cherry vodka + energy drink, and I'm getting nauseous just thinking about it.

The Skittle Bomb

Cointreau? Who wastes Cointreau on Red Bull. This is ridiculous.

The Cabo Bomb

You can figure it out by now and hopefully see how bad this idea is. If you try it, blame Sammy Hagar for ruining your night just like he ruined Van Halen.

Bonus Bomb

Not all bombs are beer or Red Bull. Sometimes, somebody drops something into a soda, or milk (!!!), or anything else they can hide booze in. There are so many variations on the theme, I could keep going for days. But a friend of a friend submitted this, complete with Oppenheimer quote. I claim no credit nor any liability. You've been warned.

The Hydrogen Bomb

"Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds." - J. Robert Oppenheimer

1 shot moonshine

1/2 can Surge