Right off the bat, I need to say that Jeff Lockridge may have penned the greatest story in the history of the Tennessean. I'm not joking; go read it. (Okay if I'm being honest, Bloggywo identified it as such, and for once he's right.) Still not convinced? Check out these great quotes:
"Big step up from a bicycle," Lassing said. "Everybody knows the scooters guys. We're kind of a big deal around here. Everyone is a little jealous. They try to make fun of you ... but deep down, you can tell that they're jealous."
"The best part of having one of these scooters is occasionally you get the little low five from the motorcycle guys," Rodgers said. "Either they'll ignore you or they'll accept you as one of their group. Usually, I try to give a low wave to try to get accepted."
"People see a 300-pound lineman on this little thing and it gives them something to look at," Seymour said. "I'm the only big offensive lineman riding one. Wesley Johnson (6-5, 280) has one, but I have a few pounds on him.
"But I've got the best-looking one," Rodgers said of his Kymco Agility 125cc. "I'll get out and wax it every now and then if I want to pick up a girl and take her on a ride. It's a combination of looks, speed and how I look on it compared to the other guys. I ride with some style."
That is some great stuff. And it got me thinking...
First and foremost, I'm going to put out an open invitation for Jordan Rodgers to come write a weekly/monthly feature here. Comedic genius should never go to waste. If it isn't hilarious workout videos with his brother, NFL QB Aaron Rodgers, it's amazing scooter quotes. This needs to happen. Perhaps we can organize an AOG tweetblast or whatever.
Second: this scooter club needs a name. And it needs to be called a gang, dammit. This scooter gang needs a name. All good ones do. Hell's Angels, Hell's Satans (amazing Simpsons episode, btw), Vagos, Free Souls, Bandidos, Highwaymen, Warlocks (DORELOCKS?????????), Sons of Silence, Outlaws, Pagan's, Mongols, etc. (yes I googled). Put your suggestions below. Or we could just go with Dorelocks. I suppose we should see if they've already come up with a sweet nickname.
Third: Once a name has been settled upon, it's time for a logo. All motorcycle scooter gangs have cool patches with awesome logos. While we at AOG shall call upon the great gumbercules to show us the way, any and all submissions will be considered.
Get cracking in the comments.