1) DENIAL. "This isn't happening. We can't possibly blow another double-digit lead. We can still make this happen. We're not going out like this again. I don't care what Obama picked. It's gonna be different this year."
2) ANGER. "HOW CAN THEY STOP THE GAME FOR FIVE MINUTES!?!" "HOW CAN HE MISS TWO DUNKS IN A ROW?!?!" "WHAT THE HELL FORMATION IS THAT FOR THE LAST PLAY!?!?!?"
3) BARGAINING. "All right. Just let John hit a three here, and I'll go to Friday prayers at the mosque AND Sabbath service at the synagogue AND Mass on Sunday morning AND I'll go to brunch with Tom Cruise next week."
4) DEPRESSION. "I hate basketball. I hate March. I hate everything. I wish I was dead. Just keep drinking this Guinness. You gotta die of something. I can't take it any more."
5) ACCEPTANCE. "Hey, isn't Sonny Gray on the mound today?"