Each week I'm going to peruse the other team's roster and pick out the five best names. You be the judge. At the end of the season we'll pit the winners against each other to come up with a Name of the Year.
LSU: 49 DE Barkevious Mingo
Ole Miss: 21 WR Lionel Breaux
65 OG Gus Cruz
11 QB Scott McCummings
34 LB Martin Hyppolite
70 OC Gary Bardzak
19 DB Kijuan Dabney
28 LB Emmanuel Omokaro
86 WR Nasir Abudu
Nominees after the jump.
05 CB Blidi Wreh-Wilson - Interestingly, UConn's game notes have misspelled Wreh-Wilson's name in the pronunciation section and nowhere else. BLEED-EE RAY-WILSON. No idea if he's injury prone, so I'm going to have to table my "he'd stay on the field more if he weren't so effing 'Blidi'" puns.
17 QB Blaise Driscoll - Too bad this game doesn't start at 4.20 ET, right Blaise? Or I guess I should direct that to his pot smoking parents, right? They might have been able to come up with a more sly pot reference had they not been stoned. Blaise would absolutely draw the high hit call, were he actually to sniff the field (he's a freshman qb) because we know how much he loves the "reefer-ee." [Okay I'm hanging my head in shame now]
22 TB Kelmetrus Wiley - According to the game notes it is Kelmetrus "Meme" Wylie. "Meme" is his nickname. Did you pronounce "Meme" right? Probably not: "kell-MEE-trus mee-mee." He must love opera.
22 LB Yawin Smallwood - Pronounced "yah-win." Smallwood? There's no winning with that last name. Sorry buddy. At least you were scout team defensive player of the week against Michigan, err against your own team pretending to be Michigan. During practice.
60 OG Erik Kuraczea - Erik "curr-ASIA". His parents went viking (erik with a k). Erik "curr-EUROPE" just doesn't have the same ring to it. Little does he know that Ray Stevens gave him the perfect nickname back in the 80's:
Erik the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious
Erik the Awful, the Ruthless and Courageous
Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the Social Graces
You can run, but you cannot hide!