If you have seen this child, please contact Billy Donovan at 1-800-MYT-EAM-SUCKS
Gator fans and supporters are reeling today, as one of their precious NIT-bound hoopsters has reportedly gone missing from school. The 6'9" 215 pounder from Casselberry, FL has many of the GatorNation worried. Eyewitnesses at the "O Dome" in Gainesville reported seeing Parsons throw down a monster dunk in the first half of their heart-breaking and gut-wrenching 64-60 loss to the Vanderbilt Commodores Tuesday night, but did not remember him ever being on the court after that.
Detectives looked for evidence in the box score, but had trouble coming up with leads. "3 points, 2 rebounds, 1 steal. I do remember the dunk in the first few minutes, but he got to the line? Really? I thought he was one of their better players. I don't know. I'm clueless. Florida will really need him if they want to get out of the first round of the NIT. I need a drink.", bluntly stated Detective Brad Nessler. Fans thought they saw Parsons sink a game winning three, but realized later that it was simply hysteria brought on by two hail-mary victories from Parsons against South Carolina and N.C. State.
If you have any clues, leads, or ideas of the whereabouts of this clean-shorn NIT-caliber athlete, please contact the University. They are always looking for banners to hang, and the overwhelming hope in Gainesville is that Parsons can hit another last second 3 for an NIT championship.