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(Possibly Apocryphal) Scouting Report: Jermaine Beal

Position: SG (Swagger Guard)

Height: 6'3"

Weight: 205

Nickname(s): Dolla, Mr. Consistency, Swagger Lee, Shark Tank, the General, Castle Wolfenstein.

Strengths: Stopping 3-on-1 fast breaks to launch a three...that usually goes in. Scoring in the final 30 seconds of a close game. Learning how to shoot (seriously, that came out of nowhere - 33% fg as a freshman, 26% from 3-pt to 43.5%, 37.5% as a senior). Anger-driven perimeter defense. Exasperated looks after a blown assist due to a missed lay-up (see Ogilvy, A.J).  Swagger.

Weaknesses: Fast break passing. Yelling. An underground rap career that threatens to leave a Mario Moore-like stain on his career.

Overview: Beal is the senior leader of this young team. He's the only bridge from 2007's Sweet Sixteen team and therefore the only member of the Commodores whose postseason experience isn't based solely on miserable failure (2008). He's blossomed as an upperclassman to become a strong shooter who has been described as "Alex Gordon, you know, if Alex Gordon actually did something other than shoot." Jermaine is the swagger engine that drives this team with his confidence and solid decision making. Anyone looking to stop Vanderbilt has to start first with Beal.

Fun Fact: Beal's first two years at Vanderbilt were spent under the wing of Alex Gordon, and he came in having to fill the shoes of Mario Moore. Under those circumstances, how he hasn't developed into a flaming ball of hate over the past four years is a mystery to us all.

Most embarrassing Google search result: Most of the results on Beal are pretty complimentary, and rightfully so. There's a lot of positives from his career to choose from. I'm going to have to go with a quote from (...clever), from all the way down on the seventh page of search results:

On senior Jermaine Beal:

"He’s going to his third NCAA Tournament. He’s a poster child for what a college athlete should look like. He’s ahead in school academically. He’s a hard-working guy who wants to get better. I like Jermaine Beal a lot and it goes back to the recruiting process. His mother once told me that I had him at hello."

That's a quote from Coach Kevin Stallings himself. If someone out there could photoshop Jermaine's head on a rail-thin Renee Zellweger, as she tearfully confides to a photoshopped Tom Cruise/Kevin Stallings hybrid, you would be an instant hero amongst the AoG community.  You can even toss in that annoying little kid from Jerry Maguire with all the weird facts if you'd like.

Best YouTube clip: Jermaine goes the length of the court to beat South Carolina in 2008. Bonus appearance from Ross Neltner!

Song Dedication: Nobody Does it Better (from The Spy Who Loved Me) by Carly Simon

Final word: Vanderbilt's elder statesman. Plays with a cool head and perfected the "Swagger-Three". As Dolla goes, so does this team.