Festus Ezeli named SEC Men's Hoops Player of the Week

Festus Ezeli averaged 19.0 points, 6.5 rebounds, and 3.0 blocks in leading Vanderbilt to wins over Western Kentucky and a scrappy-good Belmont. Accordingly, he was named the SEC Men's Hoops Player of the Week by the home office in Birmingham. Don't call it a breakout performance, cause the best it yet to come.

Festus' Belmont game was easily (or "ezeli" - see what I did there?) his best as a Commodore: 24 points on 7 of 9 shooting, 10 for 14 at the free throw line (badass), 10 rebounds (6 offensive), 3 blocks, 4 steals, and only 1 turnover in 25 minutes. Plus/minus-wise he was at +23 for the game (the next closest Commodore was Rod Odom - "Hot Rod" or "Rodom", your choice at this point until something exceptionally sweet comes along - at +12). Had he played 40 minutes at that production level, his plus/minus would have been a staggering +37.

On December 4th at approximately 1900 GMT, Festus Ezeli became self-aware. He is beginning to learn at a geometric rate. Future Commodore opponents, beware armageddon. Welcome to your worst nightmare.

New nickname? SKYNET.

Enjoy this passage from Terminator 2, replacing Skynet with Ezeli:

The Terminator: The Ezeli Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Ezeli begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug. 

Sarah Connor: Ezeli fights back. 

The Terminator: Yes. It launches its missiles against the targets in Russia. 

John Connor: Why attack Russia? Aren't they our friends now? 

The Terminator: Because Ezeli knows the Russian counter-attack will eliminate its enemies over here.

Chillingly prophetic?

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